People who feel a great emptiness after a breakup or do not know how to be happy alone tend to embark on a rebound relationship. It is based on linking one partner with another, even if it means temporary anesthesia of the pain and general feelings, overlooking the necessary mourning phase. But how do you recognize if you just fell in love quickly after a breakup or if it is a rebound relationship? Will it work? Do rebounds make you miss your ex more?
Keep reading to understand the deep psychological reasons and processes behind this behavior.
How to know if you are in a rebound relationship
If you were still thinking about your ex until shortly before you started dating, you are probably in a rebound relationship. But what is the difference between getting over them quickly and falling in love with someone else and a genuine rebound relationship?
We help you identify them since these types of relationships usually have a series of phases in common:
1) You find relief in someone
You meet a person who makes you feel special.
Suddenly, the moments of being sad, of wanting to go back to your ex, the thought of “I’ll never have anything like that again,” or “he was my person,” are replaced by moments of meeting someone else.
You have someone to talk to every day again. There is a person who makes you feel special again. You are getting to know someone from scratch. New experiences, new tastes. A great discovery.
And above all, nerves. Will they like me? Will I like him?
2) Everything is perfect: Love-bombing phase
Like an explosion.
Everything started to move very quickly. Suddenly you propose to each other, and you recognize that you like each other. Everything is going well.
You have a little voice telling you that maybe it’s a little early, but it doesn’t worry you because you’re now happy.
He takes good care of you. He values you. He appreciates you.
3) You try to convince yourself
It’s got nothing to do with your ex; this is much better. It wasn’t too fast. You are happy. Never mind the doubts, no insecurities you were left with from your previous relationship.
Without your new relationship, you wouldn’t have realized how wrong and blinded you had been.
4) You gradually feel disappointed and miss your ex
Little by little, the differences become too much. You start to become defensive. There are many things you don’t like about your new partner. You don’t know if you are being capricious or if you don’t know this person well enough.
You are not happy. You think about your ex. He was your true love. What if you are just sad? Doubts, doubts, and more doubts.
What happens next? Do rebounds make you miss your ex more?
If you are here, you probably have gotten to this point where you are unsure how to proceed with your new partner. It depends on how you feel and what you want to do. There is no rule for this scenario because it depends on how deep your connection with your new partner is and how far you are from your last relationship.
But do rebounds make you miss your ex more? Sometimes they do. But in this case, it is best to follow your intuition. It may start as a rebound relationship, but you fall in love along the way.
Why are you in a rebound relationship?
There are a few reasons why people get into rebound relationships:
a) You can’t stand being alone
If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time or have been the type of person who has always sought validation from others, you may find the idea of being single especially hard to deal with.
Because to your brain, it means that no one loves you. Because you lack your routines, you feel incomplete.
b) You convinced yourself you moved on
Maybe you thought that “one nail pulls out another nail.” If you started another relationship, it is only possible that you have moved on.
Because suddenly you were looking forward to someone else again, you’ve fallen in love again. In your head, it makes sense. But it’s not OK.
c) You wanted to make your ex jealous or get “revenge.”
If this is your case, you know it. You are aware of it, even if you don’t recognize it. You are being selfish, using someone else to make your ex jealous.
Make him realize that he’s lost you, or that you’re above him, that you’ve gotten over him. But this kind of behavior won’t heal the pain of the breakup.
d) You don’t know why but you are now in love
You may know that your relationship started as a rebound relationship, but over time you really started to be yourself, and now you are in love, but you don’t know if it’s fair.
You need to clear your head and determine if you are in love or if you don’t know how to be alone. Be fair to that person.
What should you do if you are in a rebound relationship
If you have recognized that you are in a rebound relationship, you have two possible options:
1) Break up with them
Don’t be unfair to the other person.
They don’t deserve you to use them because you don’t know how to be alone, to selfishly avoid your pain, and use them as your vendetta.
2) Forget your ex and fully commit to your new partner
Do you think you have fallen in love?
If you can leave your past relationship behind and move on from zero with a new partner, you must commit to all its consequences.
So, do rebounds make you miss your ex more?
Using a person as a Band-Aid may work for you at first. For some people, it may be a few days, weeks, or months.
But, if you have not naturally fallen in love with your new partner, you will likely end up in that phase of disappointment, realizing that you had idealized a person and returning to the thoughts that you miss your ex-partner, who will now be much farther away.
The bottom line
The most important thing to avoid prolonging the suffering and passing it on to others is to know yourself and recognize your times. Respect the grieving phase, in which you will inevitably be sad and hurt.
Continue to take care of yourself.
Then, it will be essential for you to remain single, learn to be alone, and value other pillars of your life, such as your friends, family, work, and personal care time. Only when you are OK with being alone can you be honest with yourself and your feelings for others.