Have you just started a relationship and feel insecure about how much you should see each other and talk? Do you feel like you’re annoying or scared that he’ll lose interest in you? Are you insecure? Do you wonder how often should you talk when you first start dating?
If you have come this far, you care about this relationship and want it to work. It’s normal to be afraid to talk too much or too little. In the first few weeks of the relationship, you probably want to speak to the other person all the time, even if it means living glued to your cell phone.
If you want your relationship to work in the long run, there are several vital factors you need to take into account right from the start:
Enthusiasm yes, obsession no
Just like you, your partner will be excited to start this new relationship and be happy to receive your attention from you. But of course, you have to set certain limits. Nagging him by sending hundreds of messages in a row, blaming him for not responding quickly, leaving on “read,” or trying to take up your partner’s entire schedule is obsessive.
Remember that when we feel that they are trying to control us, we seek to escape from there. Don’t become something your partner wants to run away from.
How often should you text a guy you just started dating?
There is no universal rule, but some factors to consider will help you control your impulses and set limits for yourself. It’s all about finding a balance. There are several common elements that you can use to determine when it’s too much or too little.
1. How much did you use to talk?
If you were talking every day before you started the relationship, it makes sense that you would continue to speak every day for a while. If you spoke little by text but saw each other more in person, you can continue with your habits.
What would be unnatural is to try to talk every day, all the time, if before the relationship you spoke less. Don’t try to force things. Also, trust that in time you will find your routine. You will know how much and when it is customary to talk.
2. Don’t compare
Even if they mean well, it is not always good to go by what friends say. Every couple is different and has their method of communication. It would help if you didn’t compare or ask for opinions on how much your friends talk to their partners about something unique and personal.
3. The importance of personality
Not only is every couple a world, but every person is. When you become a couple, you probably feel your intuition telling you when you’re too on top of or ignoring your partner too much. For the relationship to work, you must match your and your partner’s personality. Always act comfortable while trying to meet the other person’s expectations so that he feels comfortable too.
4. Respect routines
If you don’t have the same schedule, understand that there will be times of silence. Becoming a couple should never mean ceasing to be an individual entity. Your boyfriend will have his life just as before as you continue your routine.
It’s about finding the time when you can talk and feel like it. But not every free moment means you have to see each other or talk. Remember that breathing is also essential.
5. Priority to face-to-face contact
If possible, it is preferable to talk less by texting and be able to see each other more. Texting helps to maintain contact and presence at a distance, but unfortunately, in writing, you lose the tone and many other things that he can only appreciate in person. Therefore, make it a priority to see each other in person and discuss relevant issues face to face.
How often should you talk when you first start dating? A matter of expectations
I anticipate that communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. If you feel insecure about how much you should talk to him, the best thing to do is talk it out. Talking will allow you to understand the other person’s expectations, whether he would like more or less online or physical contact, and come to an agreement.
The problem of talking too much
If you are too pushy without considering the other person’s expectations, he might avoid you, stop texting you all day, and create a very uncomfortable feeling.
It’s okay to do what you want and be true to your feelings. But understand that it is easy to become obsessed at the beginning of a relationship. Obsessing is often the bane of every connection. Make efforts to find a healthy balance in which you both feel comfortable.
The problem of talking too little
Whether you’re afraid of being annoying because you’re trying to be exciting or because you don’t like to talk too much via text or see each other too much in person, being too absent creates a lot of insecurity for the other person.
If you feel like you’re the one getting overwhelmed and prefer some distance and space, be sure to let your partner know. Reassure him that it’s not a tactic to push you away, nor does it mean you don’t care. It’s just the way you are.
How often should you talk when you first start dating? The final piece of advice
Now you know how often you should talk when you first start dating. Don’t overthink it too much. If you’ve started dating, you already have the other person’s curiosity, interest, and affection. It shouldn’t be hard to intuit how often you should text a guy you just started dating.
Unless you start behaving radically differently, it’s unlikely you’ll do anything to push him away. Keep acting as you are, and everything will probably be fine. But above all, enjoy the journey of getting to know each other.
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re unsure how often you should talk to someone you’re dating? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments below!