We have finally turned the tables. Women are now taking courage and deciding to take control of their freedom within relationships, starting with little things like deciding when to text back. We should always focus these efforts on moving toward a healthy relationship, no more settling for the bare minimum and going after it.
There are many reasons why you may be texting him less:
- You want to prevent the relationship from being based on dependence on your cell phone
- You prioritize your work, studies, or your things when you are not with him
- You are playing games to make yourself desirable, receive attention
- You don’t want to check your cell phone as much
- You value in-person time more
- You are losing interest in him
- You have been busier lately
You may be doing it for your well-being, the relationship’s well-being, to play some game, or because something is wrong with the relationship.
What he thinks when you don’t text him back: 5 common thoughts
No doubt, whatever the reason, he will be thinking about it. Depending on your personality and level of communication and trust, he can think of a thousand reasons. These are the most recurring thoughts in a guy’s mind:
1. He thinks he messed up
Is he insecure? One of his first thoughts is to believe that he said something wrong in the last message he sent. He will think that he didn’t express himself well or that you misunderstood something, or even that he forgot something important. In other words: he will blame himself.
2. He thinks you are super busy
If he’s a person with a little more patience or knows your routines well, he’ll think you’ll text back later. He’ll know you’re doing business and will give you your space and time.
3. He will be worried
If you do not usually stop texting him back, he may think something terrible happened to you after a couple of hours. It will depend on the context, the place, the time, etc. Don’t keep him waiting if you know he might think something has happened to you.
4. Are you playing games?
Maybe you were offended earlier by something he said. Or he left you on “read” longer than usual, and now he thinks you are paying him back. This behavior will make you look very childish and capricious. If this is your case, show that you are a mature person and don’t fall for these tricks. At first, it may set off the alarm bells, and he will look for you, but this manipulation is tiring and toxic.
5. He thinks you are no longer interested in him
This type of thinking is logical if you start to ignore him systematically. If this is not the case, make it clear to him to prevent his suffering uselessly and distance himself from you. If you are indeed thinking of leaving him, this is not the best way. Even if you no longer feel the same way, he deserves to be treated humanely and directly.
Consequences of not answering back
When you stop texting him back just one day or once in a justified way, there should be no severe consequences but a simple conversation. However, if you stop texting him often, even if you like the attention and know that he is concerned because it means he cares about you and sees that he doesn’t want to lose you, you may get the opposite effect.
1. He will raise barriers against you
He may raise his defenses to protect himself from you if he thinks you are following a pattern, whether by play or not. He will distrust you and prevent his feelings towards you from growing because you make him suffer.
2. He will imitate you
He will feel entitled to do the same as you. He will stop texting you when he feels like it, even forcing himself to stay away from you out of pride or fear that you will abandon him. Some days he won’t text you at all.
3. He will lean on other people
Remember that he will not always desperately wait for you to listen to him. All people can only take so much, and if he feels lonely or frustrated, he will seek comfort from friends or other people. If your goal with this tactic is to create dependence on you, you may succeed, but it is a very toxic method that will prevent you from having a long-term future.
4. He will get tired
By ignoring him without explanation, you are hurting him. He may put up with it at first, but rest assured that if you love a person, the most important thing is that you treat him well so that he wants to stay.
5. You will increase his fear of abandonment
Many people suffer from anxiety due to the fear of being forgotten or abandoned. If one day you treat him as usual and the next day you stop texting him, you will increase his anxiety levels. If he puts up with it and you continue to behave like this, you will create trauma for him.
What to do if you don’t want to or can’t text him that much
If you are unsure about the relationship or want to break up with him, you must be brave enough to tell him. Please don’t waste time or hurt him more than necessary. It is unfair to make a person suffer for something you are unsure about your feelings.
Of course, if you think it’s a game and you like the attention you get, you should know that this is a dangerous game for your relationship. You have already seen some examples of what he thinks when you don’t text him back, and you may risk losing him and hurting him a lot.
However, explain it to him if you stop texting back for other reasons like you’re busy or want to have space when you’re not together. Speak up. Don’t feel guilty about setting boundaries for yourself and your partner. Remember, the important thing is to reach an agreement with which you both feel comfortable.