Are you one of those who play mind tricks? You’ve probably experienced that when you stop texting a person you’ve always paid attention to, he notices your absence. Consequently, he goes after you, and you feel that he cares more about you, which makes you feel good. In general, this should not be the solution to anything, although there are some cases where the vow of silence makes some people start treating you as they should.
But how do you identify when you should stop texting him so he will text you? In this post, we give you some tips:
“Don’t text him and he will text you” When should you try this?
Despite not being the best of your options, there are some cases in which you could be justified in stopping responding to him:
1. You always start conversations
It’s not a matter of tracking how often you initiate the conversation. Still, if you think you are systematically the one who starts the talks, it wouldn’t hurt to let him take the initiative for once.
He will probably notice and get used to texting you occasionally without the need for discussion. If, on the other hand, he decides to imitate you and starts ignoring you, you should probably discuss it with him because there is something very childish about his behavior.
If you’ve noticed he takes you for granted, you’re always there for him. If you’re always available, a people pleaser, and he’s the one who takes hours and hours to respond while you react to the minute, he’s probably stopped appreciating your presence. The cliché of “you don’t know what you have until you lose it.”
Only when you stop responding does he realize he misses you and how little initiative he has.
There should always be 50-50 communication in any relationship, not one person talking and the other responding. Give him a wake-up call by stopping him from responding when you feel he is most absent.
2. You want him to open his eyes
Do you feel that your partner is too passive in the relationship? Do you think that you are the one who makes most of the efforts to keep the conversations going? It wouldn’t be the wrong time to stop texting him.
But not just for revenge, not to be aware of whether or not he responds to you. On the contrary. Get away from your cell phone and dedicate time to yourself.
Take care of yourself, prioritize, and think about your relationship and disconnect. And when you return, you will think about what to do with the answer he gave in your absence.
What will he think if you don’t text him?
Regardless of everything in your head, he will notice a strange change from his point of view. His interpretation of this change in your behavior will depend mainly on your relationship and his personality. Here are a few things he might think when you don’t text him back.
1. He will be jealous
One of the most recurring thoughts is to think that you have been replaced. The void you leave is filled with imagination guided by insecurity. Even if he is making a mistake, you have to assess how he reacts and what he does.
Even if he is insecure, a healthy and rational person should engage in conversation to ensure everything is all right, and if he is too upset, maybe even ask you directly. Of course, always in a respectful manner.
2. You’re playing games
He might play hard to get and know you’ll get over it. If it’s not the first time it’s happened, or he’s a very confident person (maybe too confident), he might play hard to get. He will think you’ll get over it and want to “play your game” or “pay you back in kind.”
Although stopping texting him is not the right thing to do, responding in the same way in this case, without rethinking that there is a reason behind it, is not appropriate behavior. Therefore, the way he behaves is fundamental. If something goes wrong and his first instinct is to ignore it, he shows that he is a childish person and not prepared for life’s difficulties as a couple.
3. He might open his eyes
On the positive side, he may reflect on what may have gone wrong and discuss it with you or directly change his destructive behaviors. If he approaches you intending to talk about it, be open and honest, speaking your truth with understanding, empathy, and respect.
A piece of advice
If this is an essential person in your life and you would like to continue a healthy relationship in which everything is going well, there are a couple of factors to keep in mind:
1. Communication is key
Opting for a vow of silence is never the solution, neither on your part nor theirs. If you have a problem with your partner because he takes little initiative or you feel too heavy-handed, you should tell him directly. If he is mature, understanding, and cares about your relationship, he will listen to your insecurities and commit to changing his behavior.
2. What you want in your future
One of the reasons there are often problems that cause you to come to the “If I don’t text him, he will text me” type of conclusion is a lack of goals and boundaries.
First, stop and think about what you expect and want from your relationship with this person. Next, consider whether he is emotionally available to maintain a serious, healthy, and stable relationship and whether he has problems to solve or red flags that are too important.
Finally, talk to him to hear his point of view and come to an agreement.
Maybe you will establish a relationship where you both feel comfortable and secure, or perhaps you are incompatible. But never be afraid to speak up and express what you want for fear that you might lose him because that would delay the inevitable.
Conclusion – “Don’t text him and he will text you” isn’t good advice
Playing mind tricks doesn’t usually work out well. The cheap advice “Don’t text him, and he will text you” is rarely the best option and rarely works. It may serve as a wake-up call on isolated occasions, but if it’s an underlying problem, it’s better to put pride aside and propose talking things through from the start.
Let us know your thoughts in the comments!