Friendship is a precious treasure. But we cannot forget that human relationships are never totally stable and linear, no matter their type. Just as individuals have ups and downs, we can also measure our relationships with others by the best and worst times. Sometimes, we can solve problems with a friend by talking, but sometimes it’s time to accept that some people are not meant to stay in our lives. But how can you realize that a person is no longer your friend? We’ll explore multiple signs your friend doesn’t care about you anymore.
Life can sometimes be complicated enough to surround yourself with toxic people and friends who don’t value you enough. That’s why it’s essential to consider when a friend has stopped being a friend and when it’s a streak with a solution.
Here are the main signs of understanding when a friend doesn’t care about you:
6 Signs your friend does not care about you
Some symptoms are more severe than others and vary depending on the person.
It’s up to you to understand if it’s something that can change or something you don’t want in your life.
1. He doesn’t spend time with you
Time is of the essence. Spending time with a person is a way to show that you appreciate them. If your friend is one of those who make excuses for everything and doesn’t spend time with you like he used to, you should give him a wake-up call.
Of course, there are many factors you should consider first. Suppose your friend is going through a difficult period personally, exams, work, stress, or any other temporary reason that has nothing to do with you. In that case, you should be sympathetic, not overwhelmed.
However, if you feel that your friend spends time with many other people and it is only for you that they have no time, you should tell them directly.
2. Your friend talks only about himself
It’s no use spending time together if he talks and talks endlessly but doesn’t listen to you.
Recognize if your friend is using you. Maybe he uses you as a psychologist and comes to you to tell you his problems without caring about your life or asks you questions without interest.
If your friend has always been like this, they might be selfish or, in the extreme, narcissistic. You can try to discuss this problem, especially if they were not like this before, but this type of person is not usually aware of his behavior.
3. Your friend doesn’t make an effort to see you
If you feel like you’re always the one who has to pull strings to see each other, your friend isn’t valuing your time or efforts. It doesn’t matter that it’s not a romantic relationship. Any relationship should be fifty-fifty.
As always, it’s essential to keep the context in mind. Today for you, tomorrow for me. If your friend is going through a difficult time, for example, his car has broken down, it’s understandable that you’re the one moving to see each other. But if you are on equal footing, it makes sense to find a middle ground.
4. You are the second plate
Does he spend time with you, but only if he doesn’t have a better plan? Red flag. This behavior is incredibly hurtful. Don’t let a friendship start treating you as an alternative. If he takes you as second fiddle, he’s taking it for granted that you will be around forever. A classic mistake is treating your friends like trophies you’ve won and having them as an ornament.
5. Your friend ignores you in person
It’s no use if they spend time with you in body present but soul absent.
If your friend is looking at his cell phone or doing other things while you are together, it is not only a sign that your friend doesn’t care about you but almost a lack of respect. Especially if you rarely see each other.
If you see each other daily in class, it stands to reason that you’re not always looking out for each other. Again, you have to contextualize the situation.
6. Serious red flags
The red flags may depend on many other factors, which may be temporary and can be fixed with a conversation. However, some critical red flags that tell you that your friend is a toxic person that you should stay away from:
- He talks behind your back. Even if he treats you well when you are alone, if you find out that he criticizes you behind your back, he is betraying your trust for the sake of appearances.
- He cancels plans with you if he has an alternative. A sign that you are not a priority. He does not respect or value your time and does not mind leaving you stranded at the last minute.
- “Familiarity breeds contempt,” i.e., uses trust to treat you poorly. Many people start behaving absurdly with the excuse of confidence.
- He forgets important dates for you. Once can happen, but if he systematically fails you on significant matters, he listens to you but does not retain the relevant information because he does not care so much. Some people are careless, but a true friend will look for ways to remember significant events.
- He demands from you what he doesn’t give you. You can accept a relationship that is 40-60, but don’t let him order attention and behaviors from you that your friend doesn’t give you.
- He treats you differently from the rest of his friends. It’s OK if it’s in the positive sense, but it’s a red flag when he starts doing it strangely, especially if he hides you.
- He judges you, and he criticizes you. Maybe he listens to you when you have a problem but gives you feedback that is not productive and bad advice, making you feel worse.
- They Minimize your problems and feelings. They don’t value how you feel and ridicule you for feeling a certain way.
What to do if you feel your friend doesn’t care about you
The million-dollar question is: does he act like he doesn’t care about you because he takes you for granted, or does he not care about you? If it’s a friendship that has been important and has shown you that he values you, you can give him a chance to make amends.
1. If he is your friend, he will listen to you
Tell him your concern with sincerity and always with respect. Explain to him what has led you to think this way, and try to find a solution. Virtue lies in the middle ground.
2. Let go
If you think your friend just never cared that much about you, has changed too much, it’s a toxic friendship, or he’s changed since he hangs out with other people and doesn’t seem open to receiving criticism and evolving, it’s best to let go.
Some people are meant to be in our lives for a period, and then they disappear, leaving us with the memory. And that’s it.
The bottom line: Signs your friend doesn’t care about you
Assess your friendship, and identify if it is a temporary behavior or if your friend has changed too much. Consider whether dialogue is an option, and act accordingly. But above all, do not feel guilty if, in the end, it is a person who is no longer part of your life. Now that you know the most common signs your friend doesn’t care about you, you’re ready to identify them faster.
Not every relationship is supposed to be lifelong. Keep your friends close, but keep your toxic ones at a distance. We hope you never have to deal with a friend who doesn’t care about you, but now you know what to do if you do.