We often excuse behaviors from our friends that we would not accept from other people under the guise of trust, that you have known each other for a long time, or excuses such as “that’s just the way he is.” Regardless of confidence and personality, there are some limits that we should never accept from our friends. One of the minimums of any relationship is respect. And there are a thousand ways to disrespect a person, even if they are not as evident as insults to the face. In this article, we help you identify many signs your friend doesn’t respect you:
5 Signs your friend doesn’t respect you
These are the most prominent and common signs, not the only ones. After analyzing them, the decision on what to do about it will be yours alone:
1. They belittle you in public
When a friend behaves weirdly when you are with a group of people and even ridicules you, they disrespect you. This is classic bully behavior.
They belittle you to make you laugh, to feel superior. Everything revolves around maintaining a specific appearance in front of others. Don’t excuse him with the thought that he treats you well the rest of the time. In this case, he is directly disrespecting you.
2. They are deliberately mean to you
A classic among classics: Confusing sincerity with cruelty. “I’m your friend, and that’s why I have to tell you,” and all kinds of excuses. A friend will be empathetic and diplomatic in telling you things, especially if it is a sensitive subject they know affects you.
If your friend makes cruel comments or says things they know will hurt you rather than losing respect, they show that they are terrible.
3. They criticize your decisions when they disagree with you
Typical of a controlling person. Maybe you’ve asked your friend for an opinion on an issue, and rather than giving you advice, they tell you what they would do or even what they want you to do because it somehow benefits them or makes them feel reassured.
And, of course, listening to their advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it. You own your own decisions, and your friends should respect that. If they criticize you, they try to control you by making you feel bad for disagreeing with them. Remember that it is vital to set boundaries for others.
4. You feel their negative vibes
Do you notice that something is wrong every time you see each other? Maybe their lousy energy is caused by their pessimism because they feel judged. After all, they don’t seem like a good person to you, make you feel uncomfortable, or don’t agree with you for some reason.
Understand that you are not obligated to maintain a friendship with anyone and that people come and go. If this person has any of these behaviors and your instinct tells you that they give off negative energy that keeps you from being well, it’s probably time to let go.
5. They gaslight you
When a friend is insensitive towards you, and you react, and then your friend tells you that you are an “intense,” “dramatic,” or “over the top” person, he’s gaslighting you.
Your friend is manipulating you and altering your perception of reality in his favor, so he doesn’t feel like a bad person. Bad friends minimize your feelings to downplay their actions. Be very careful with this type of behavior that is tremendously toxic.
What can you do when your friend disrespects you?
If you are familiar with any of the signs your friend doesn’t respect you, it is time to reflect on what you can do. In many cases, it will depend on how long they have been behaving like this, the context, how long you have been friends, etc.
Do you want to try to redirect his behavior? Make him see what he’s doing wrong. The moment he is disrespecting you, interrupt him and let him know.
It will be a tense moment, but he should accept the criticism and learn from it if it’s a true friendship. He may have gotten carried away with the confidence and didn’t realize how much it affected you, which doesn’t justify it, but he deserves a chance to fix it.
Don’t accept excuses
Do not accept it if you have tried to tell him, and he responds with all kinds of excuses but does not change his behavior. Understand that respect is the minimum between human relationships, and it is even more fundamental when it is a friendship.
Remember that it is essential to listen to what he says, value it and forgive him only if he changes his attitude. But in no case should you justify not being treated well.
It is probably better to walk away
If your friend is not open to listening to you, pretends to understand you but does not change, or you feel burned out of this friendship, it will be best to walk away. If you’re still very close, you can let them know somehow. But if you don’t have contact, remember that you don’t owe anyone anything. It’s okay to walk away from their life. Sometimes “friends” don’t care about you anymore, but they shouldn’t disrespect you because of that.
Better walk away from a toxic person that doesn’t respect you than to stay and be miserable. Friends aren’t supposed to make you feel bad about yourself; they are supposed to make you feel good. Ending a friendship is hard, but it’s probably best if it’s not working out.
Signs your friend doesn’t respect you: The bottom line
No matter how many memories, experiences, and affection you have for each other, if a person starts treating you disrespectfully, it is your right to cut off contact. When it comes to a person who has been very important to you for a long time, and deep down, you believe they deserve a chance, you must be brutally honest and maintain your boundaries to continue a healthy friendship.
Real friends respect you, so it isn’t easy to imagine someone being your friend for a long time and then realizing that they don’t respect you. If you have doubts about a person’s intentions, confronting them is always better than staying in the dark. Something might have happened that you don’t know about to make them change their attitude, or they might be having a tough time.
Have you ever been in a situation like this? Tell us about your experience in the comments!