Wanting to get back together with an ex is as old as coughing. In general, it’s usually not easy. But it is even more difficult when your ex withdraws and avoids you. There are people who, in the face of adversity, walk away, and it can be very frustrating. But that’s what we’re here for. If you want to understand your ex a little more, keep reading and learn how to re-attract an avoidant ex.
Which are the most common types of attachment?
Romantic relationships have many types of emotional attachment, but which one are you? Are you sure your ex is the avoidant type? Here’s a brief explanation of each kind of emotional attachment and how they affect each person’s behavior:
- Secure attachment: A secure attachment involves both partners feeling safe, confident, and comfortable in their relationship. This fosters trust, comfort, and safety, allowing partners to express their emotions and support each other in problem-solving.
- Anxious attachment: When one partner feels insecure and uncertain about the relationship, they may have an anxious attachment. An anxious attachment may develop when one partner feels unsure and insecure about the relationship, leading to constant reassurance-seeking, possessiveness, and worrying about the relationship’s future. Trust may be challenging to establish, even without any reason for insecurity.
- Avoidant attachment: When one partner feels uncomfortable with emotional closeness and intimacy, they may have an avoidant attachment. This type of attachment often leads to behaviors such as keeping emotional distance, avoiding vulnerability, and being emotionally detached. People with an avoidant attachment may find it difficult to express their emotions and may have a hard time connecting with their partner on an emotional level.
- Disorganized attachment: a disorganized attachment style may manifest in individuals experiencing both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. This may result in conflicting behaviors, such as simultaneously wanting and fearing emotional closeness. Regulating emotions and building trust may be particularly difficult for individuals with disorganized attachments.
How to re-attract an avoidant ex: 10 simple but effective tips!
If you want to get your avoidant ex back, these are some tricks and strategies you can follow. Remember that it’s all about adopting the right mindset.
1. Focus on your growth
One way to attract an avoidant ex is to focus on personal growth. Taking steps to improve yourself will show your ex that you are self-aware and capable of change. It may also make them curious about the changes you’ve made and make them want to reconnect. Stop chasing avoidants and let them chase you instead.
2. Give them space
Avoidant individuals often value their independence and may feel suffocated in a relationship. Giving your ex space and respecting their need for autonomy can help them feel more comfortable around you. This can increase the likelihood of them being open to reconnecting.
3. Communicate clearly
Avoidant individuals may struggle with communication, so being clear and direct in communicating with your ex is essential. Avoid sending mixed signals or playing games, as this can further push them away. Instead, be honest and straightforward in your interactions with them.
4. Show understanding
It’s important to understand that avoidant individuals may fear intimacy or vulnerability. Show them that you know this and are willing to work with them to build a relationship that works for both of you. This can help them feel more comfortable and open to reconnecting, which works great to re-attract an avoidant ex.
5. Build trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship, but it’s imperative when dealing with avoidant individuals. Take the time to build trust with your ex by being reliable and consistent in your actions. This can help them feel more comfortable and secure around you.
6. Focus on positive memories
When trying to reconnect with an avoidant ex, it’s important to focus on positive memories from your past together. Avoid dwelling on negative experiences or bringing up past arguments. Instead, focus on the good times and what made your relationship special.
7. Use the power of scarcity
Avoidant people often crave independence and freedom, so the more you push them towards commitment, the more they might pull away. Instead, use the power of scarcity to make yourself more appealing. Limit your availability and create a sense of mystery around yourself. This can pique their interest and make them want to pursue you more.
8. Focus on common interests
One of the reasons avoidant people might pull away is because they feel like their independence is being threatened. Instead of trying to change them, focus on what you have in common. Find activities or topics you enjoy and make those the focus of your interactions. This can help create a sense of connection without making them feel like they’re being forced into something.
9. Show vulnerability
Avoidant people often have difficulty with emotional intimacy, so it is crucial to create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. One way to do this is to show vulnerability yourself. Share your fears and insecurities and encourage them to do the same. This can help build trust and create a deeper emotional connection.
10. Be patient
Finally, patience is essential when trying to attract an avoidant ex. They may need time to process their feelings and become comfortable with the idea of reconnecting. Respect their boundaries, take things slow, and prepare to wait for them to come around.
How to re-attract an avoidant ex? Final Words
If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably hurting because you miss your ex. He may need a push to return to you, but you may also need a push to get away from him. Did he make you happy in the relationship? Did he make you feel loved or ignore you for no reason? Think about whether you are willing to make all the sacrifice and effort to get your ex back, and if you decide to do it, make it worth it.
Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and assess the relationship. Is it worth another shot? Would you be able to forgive and forget the past, or would it always haunt you in the future? Take your time and ensure that your choice is for the best. Remember, re-attracting an avoidant ex isn’t easy, but it can be done with patience. Have you ever re-attracted an avoidant ex? Share your stories in the comments section below! Good luck!