Nothing breaks like a heart. Miley Cyrus told us, but everybody knew. Heartbreak is one of the most common types of pain, but it is always different, and you cannot do anything to prevent it. If you are here, you are probably hurting. And what’s worse, you have those killing doubts about the breakup. “Why did she leave me?“
You want, no, you feel that you need to know why. Why did she leave you?
Through this article, you might identify with some of the reasons. But don’t get blindsided. The most important part of this post is the second part: What can you do about it? So, keep reading.
Why did she leave me? 7 common reasons
These are the most common reasons she left you, even if you have not realized it yet. Depending on the reason, you will have to act one way or another to continue with your life or get her back.
1) She fell out of love
The relationship got boring. She perceived monotony where you saw stability, a routine, a safe zone, and a home. She lost motivation.
What she usually loved about you now left her indifferent. She doesn’t feel the spark anymore.
But don’t get confused. It’s not your fault. These are things that happen.
It probably has more to do with her than with you. You don’t have to do something wrong for her not to be in love with you. And I know it hurts just the same because it leaves you helpless. You can’t do anything about it.
Just accept it and move on.
2) She has problems
She has probably told you the news of her life if you had a severe and trustworthy relationship.
She may have gone through different problems or types of stress, such as the loss of a loved one, the divorce of her parents, problems at work or school, and self-esteem problems. O anything that caused her high levels of stress.
Something that makes her unable to control the situation and emotionally unavailable. She can’t handle your relationship and needs her space, maybe leaving the relationship for a while or forever. Give her space.
3) You have changed
Maybe it’s been a while, and you’ve experienced things. You’ve gone through different phases of life, like finishing college, becoming independent, meeting new people, or a global pandemic.
Something that made you change or made her change. Or just time passed, and slowly you are both different. You want other things. Maybe you’ve changed, and she doesn’t recognize you anymore even though you feel the same, and that’s why she doesn’t want to stay with you.
Or maybe it’s her and her ambitions or interests that have changed, and you no longer fit into the puzzle of her life. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. People change to a greater or lesser extent. Life is a cycle.
4) A big obstacle got in the way
Life happens, and it sucks sometimes.
Maybe you have been delighted together, but she has to move to another country for work or studies.
Or something happened beyond your control, and she had to leave you because the relationship was going nowhere.
Or maybe there was some infidelity. She cheated on you, and you forgave her, but she didn’t forgive herself, or the relationship isn’t the same anymore.
Or you betrayed her, and she can no longer trust you, even though the feelings are still there. Major setbacks that are irreversible.
5) She met someone else
Painful, but it’s a possibility you should consider. She may have given you some excuse, or she may have been sincere: if she met someone else and fell in love, she wasn’t the one for you.
You probably had problems in the relationship for some time, although you may not have realized it until it was too late.
If she has decided to move on with someone else, the best thing you can do is walk away from the painful situation and move on without hearing from her.
6) You aren’t compatible anymore
When we grow up, we make a series of decisions. And each of our actions has its consequences. Our paths begin to narrow with each decision, and sometimes, our preferences or desires in life take us away from our partners.
Because it’s okay to be flexible and mold to continue with our special one, but never give up our dreams or personal plans for someone else. It is too big and risky a sacrifice. So, in the end, your lives are not compatible.
Or you have changed, as we were talking about before, and what was once laughs are now arguments and tense situations that lead nowhere.
7) She felt controlled
Maybe she was one of these passive people in life. Your habits, personality, or insecurities that got out of hand ended up controlling more than you should, making the relationship toxic.
Maybe she was permissive, and that’s why you didn’t notice, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. So time passed, and she felt trapped like a bird in a cage. And when we try to trap a person, we doom ourselves to lose them.
What should you do after she leaves you?
So now: what can you do? Well, each scenario requires a different course of action:
a) Think about it but don’t overthink it
Before you act, think. Make sure you understand the main reason why she left you.
Do not insist on returning if the situation is irreversible. Don’t force it if she no longer feels anything for you or falls in love with someone else. But do not let her escape if you think she left you because she got over a complicated situation and will regret it.
b) Move on for yourself
If she has left you for one of those reasons that can’t be fixed or reversed, look at the breakup as an opportunity to start over. Use all the time you used to dedicate to her for yourself.
Seek your friends and your family, take up hobbies, take care of yourself, and move on. Don’t let yourself stagnate. You can’t avoid having a hard time, but remember, it’s temporary.
c) Take your time to grief
Don’t try to get over it by partying, getting drunk, or avoiding the idea of thought occurring in your brain. It’s a breakup. You’ve had your heart broken. And it has to hurt to heal. Don’t try to avoid the grief phase.
d) Don’t jump into a rebound relationship
Don’t try to replace her because each person is unique. Someday you will love someone else differently, and that’s okay.
But first, you have to learn to be alone. To be okay with being alone. Falling into a rebound relationship is cheating yourself and playing with someone else. And many times, rebounds make you miss your ex even more.
e) Win her back
If she left you because of some temporary problem or shortcoming that you know you can modify with her support, try to win her back.
Talk to her and accept the rejection if she decides she still doesn’t want to come back. And if she gives you another chance, take advantage of it to grow as a person and as a couple.
Why did she leave me? Final words
It would be best if you accepted that knowing why she left you will not ease your pain. Maybe you will stop thinking about it so much, but if you miss her, it is expected that questions will keep coming up. “What ifs...”.
So it would help if you accepted reality as soon as possible to get through the painful process as quickly as possible. Learn, move on, and try to get her back if you think it is worth it. But remember: don’t give up on your dreams for anyone. Not even for the love of your life.
Don’t let anyone control you, either. Find someone who loves you for who you are and with whom you can build a future without significant sacrifices. Because in the end, only you can make yourself happy. And no one else can do it for you.