“It has been 2 weeks, no contact. Should I give up?” Sometimes we have to decide to walk away from the person we love for the sake of the relationship or each other.
- A breakup
- Giving each other some time
- Or a fight…
…are the most common reasons. But what does it mean when 2 weeks have passed, and you still have no contact? Should you contact your ex even if he dumped you?
Is it over? Should you respect their time and distance, or are you moving away from each other? What should you do if you want your ex to come back to you?
We know that each couple’s reality is different, so we don’t want to give you the definitive answer but instead offer you both extremes to help you see your reality with perspective. Then, the decision will be yours.
Reasons why you should give up
We start from the premise that you are not in an ideal situation. The most crucial step is to put yourself in your ex’s shoes: What do you think they are waiting for? Do you agree that you are just giving each other some time, or did your ex tell you it’s over?
Did it all happen because of a big fight, or has everything been falling apart for a long time? If you officially broke up and it’s only been a couple of weeks, you’re probably having a hard time. It’s hard, and it’s lonely. You miss your ex, and you feel their absence everywhere.
You’re in that phase of rethinking everything, wanting to swallow your pride, and thinking it was all a mistake. Okay, that’s normal. Now, let’s put our feet on the ground with a bit of psychological theory: Love relationships work like relationships with addictions.
Your partner is a daily presence that brings you, for the most part, positive feelings. It gives you security. It’s your comfort zone. Even when the relationship is not going well, you feel secure because you think you are not alone. When we cut off contact with that person, our brain becomes alarmed.
Something is missing that was there, always present. Suddenly you are alone. Maybe you feel abandoned, you feel guilty, or you feel fear. The future is now uncertain, and many patterns have been broken. You don’t know who you are going to lean on.
What does your brain decide to do? Try to manipulate your perception of reality so that you abandon all your principles, self-love, and pride. So you do whatever it takes to get back with that person so that your brain rereleases those happy hormones, those endorphins.
And this is the moment when you suffer the most. You fight with yourself. Maybe a part of you clearly says you don’t want to return because it didn’t work out. After all, it’s better to leave it behind for one reason or another.
Spoiler: everything passes.
Even if it hurts now, even if you have to go through a slow process of overcoming, one day, that person with whom you feel such a strong connection will be indifferent to you. That’s the beauty and sadness of reality.
What is getting over a breakup? Simply put, it’s enduring. It’s suppressing the urge to act impulsively and talk to that person to calm those feelings of loneliness or despair.
What is the best advice? Try to be happy. Accept that not every day will be a good day and that there will be sad moments within some good days. But don’t let the sadness engulf you, keep in mind that you are doing what is best for you and that one day it will stop hurting. You will fall in love again, even if you think it’s impossible now.
What happens if you act impulsively and talk to your ex? If the relationship wasn’t going well, having the opportunity to miss each other and “realize what you had and didn’t appreciate” will only last a few days or weeks.
If your problems were so bad that you had to leave him, you would probably have to deal with your problems separately. And believe me, by the time you’ve overcome your issues, you won’t want to go back because you’ll be happy without your ex.
Returning to your ex creates a vicious cycle; every time you break up and leave, it feeds that toxicity. You go, but you know you’ll be back. He knows it too. You hurt each other, but you justify everything out of love. There comes a time when you must learn one thing: love is not worth everything.
You can be absolutely in love, and the relationship doesn’t work because there is a lot behind it, like respect, understanding, empathy, and communication. And that’s much harder to achieve with someone who has broken your trust in the past. So the best thing you can do is learn to let go, lean on your loved ones, and look only forward.
Reasons why you should NOT give up
The key that will tell you if this is a mistake or a necessary pause for the relationship’s future is why you left. If it’s just a mutually agreed break or an isolated argument, you may have stopped talking to each other out of pride or a misunderstanding. After a couple of weeks, you’ve probably realized it was all a mistake.
Sometimes, time and distance are necessary to breathe, reflect alone, and let things cool. If your partner or ex-partner didn’t tell you clearly that they don’t want to hear from you again or are impulsive, and you know that they most likely regret it, the relationship is not over. Maybe your ex left everything at your place because the plan is to return.
If it is an isolated argument, and you are not used to fighting and drama, it is time to talk. If you know it’s your fault, apologize. If your partner thinks it’s your fault, offer to talk to clear the air and reach a middle ground.
Make it clear that your relationship is more important to you than being right, but that for it to be a healthy relationship, you need to talk even if it may be uncomfortable or difficult. It may be that your partner’s biggest flaw is their pride, and you have to give in a little to talk things through like adults.
It would be best to let them know when things are calm, but never use it as a reproach. In short, don’t let a relationship end in misunderstanding or pride, whether it’s yours or your partner’s, especially if it’s an isolated argument.
Assess all the factors, don’t let anyone take advantage of you, and don’t overstep your ex’s boundaries. If your ex is clear that it’s over, you should accept it. However, if you see yourself reflected in this section, get up from wherever you are and look for your ex to clear things up.
Two weeks of no contact. Should I give up? Final words
As you can see, it’s all about finding the middle ground between what you must accept and what you want to do—the middle ground between how you feel and how your ex feels. You must respect yourself, respect your ex’s decisions, and always consider many factors.
Don’t fall into toxic romanticism. True romance is loving yourself first, then your partner, and looking for a healthy and balanced relationship on the same level. Have you ever been in a situation where your partner didn’t contact you for two weeks or more? What did you do? Let us know in the comments.