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Why do exes leave their stuff behind?

Why do exes leave their stuff behind? Breakups are always painful, and many times they drag on unnecessarily. When you think you’re done for good with the other person, you’ve had “that conversation,” you come home to find a bunch of things that belong to them.

So what now? What are you going to do with their stuff? Is there some meaning behind the fact that they left their stuff behind? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. We explain why he has left so many things behind and what to do with them:

Why do exes leave their stuff behind? 7 common reasons

The reasons may vary depending on the other person’s position, how bad the breakup was, etc. If they didn’t want to leave you, it might have been on purpose, consciously or unconsciously. 

They may have forgotten and regretted it but would rather lose things than see you again. You will be the best judge to analyze what the motive is.

1) It is a blatant excuse to see you again

If your ex didn’t want to break up with you, if they looked desperate, they likely gave up their stuff to have a reason to talk to you again and see you again.

Don’t worry, if that’s the case, you’ll hear from them soon. They will find the time to text you, “I forgot my stuff. Can I come to get it?“.

If you don’t want to see them, you can ask a mutual friend to act as an intermediary or offer to mail them at your convenience. However, if you want to win your ex back, it might be an opportunity.

2) They just forgot about it

A breakup involves a complicated situation. A thousand thoughts per hour, assimilating many things, losing the person you have spent a lot of time with. It may be that they weren’t thinking about the material things they left in your apartment.

why do exes leave their stuff behind - they forgot about them

Some will come back to you to pick them up. Others would rather lose them than face an awkward moment again.

3) They don’t want that stuff anymore

It may be unimportant stuff or stuff that doesn’t make sense for them to have if they’re not with you. If you don’t hear from them for a while, you’ll have to decide what to do, as discussed later in this article.

4) They want you to think of them

Maybe they did want those things, but they prefer to know that there are things of theirs lying around your house and that they make you think of them.

Regardless of their position on the breakup, they may not want to be forgotten.

5) They haven’t processed the breakup

They may not know what to do with their stuff if the breakup has been unexpected. The last thing they think about is their stuff because they’re busy dealing with their emotions.

Please don’t get rid of that stuff yet. Instead, leave it packed away until some time has passed in case they want it back. If not, you will decide whether to keep them or get rid of them in one of the ways we advise below.

6) They want to hurt you

Some exes leave their stuff behind so you won’t forget them. Others want you to suffer. They want you to be aware of them through their stuff, so they leave all their traces around your house and think it will hurt you every time you see them.

7) They don’t want anything related to you

In other circumstances, they probably would have picked up their stuff because it’s useful or valuable. But if the breakup has been too painful, they’d probably rather lose those things than deal with items that remind them of you.

What to do with the stuff your ex left

So, what can you do with the stuff your ex left behind? As you have seen so far, it depends on the situation. The wise thing to do is to wait for a while, like a couple of weeks, before doing anything. It would be a good idea to box it all up to avoid your suffering and help you move on.

why do exes leave their stuff behind - what to do

Then, make a decision:

a) Tell them to come and get it

Maybe they forgot or didn’t dare to pick up their things. It’s wise to send a message without punctuation, suspensions, or emojis. Tell them their stuff is packed, and ask if they want it back.

b) Pack it and send it to them

If you are very hurt and prefer avoiding contact with your ex, pack it up and send it to them. Let them decide what they want to do with their stuff, and you go on with your life. Just make sure they get it.

c) Call a mutual friend

A good option is to ask a mutual friend to take their stuff or ask them what they plan to do with it to decide if you have to decide, such as keeping it or getting rid of it.

d) If they don’t want it, throw it out

If it hurts you more than it brings you, and you don’t place much value on material things, or it just works better for you to get rid of it, throw it out.

You don’t owe anything to anyone. If it’s been a while and you haven’t heard from your ex, or you’ve asked him, and he’s told you he doesn’t want them back, you’re free to do whatever you want. Throw them away. If you know your ex will never unblock you and doesn’t want to talk again to you, why keep that stuff?

e) Keep it in a box

In case it has a material value for you, but it hurts too much to have them in sight, or you struggle to get over the breakup, you’d better keep it all in a box and that box in the closet.

In a few years, you will be glad to have it and be able to remember the relationship with affection, seeing it from indifference and the perspective of the past. Just make sure you don’t open it every week because it can end up being a double-edged sword.

f) Donate it

Your ex doesn’t want their stuff. Neither do you. But it’s valuable stuff, like clothes or expensive stuff. Donate it.

Think that your breakup will contribute something positive to the community. But don’t give it to friends because you risk seeing it often.

Why do exes leave their stuff behind? Final words

Whatever the reason why your ex left their stuff behind, you must act wisely. Save it all before deciding whether to keep it, return it, donate it or throw it away. Please don’t get rid of it by impulse because you may be blamed by your ex or feel guilty.

Now that you know why your ex leaves their stuff behind and what to do with it, we hope you find the strength to decide and move on. Life goes on. And remember: whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Did your ex ever leave their stuff behind? What did you do with it? Tell us in the comments!