It can be confusing when he seems interested in person but not over text. You meet in person, have a great time, feel the spark, laugh, share intimate memories, and feel that the guy you like might like you back. Then, you get home, text him, and he doesn’t text back, takes weeks, or sends you a terse message.
The next day, he doesn’t start the conversation or give you a different vibe. He seems to respond out of courtesy and politeness, but he doesn’t give you the same vibe as in person.
Do you feel frustrated, confused, or discouraged? What is this supposed to mean? First of all, you must be sure that he indeed likes you. Then, you can start hypothesizing about why he changes so much via text. In this article, we help you to clarify the situation:
6 signs he is interested in you
If your intuition is not enough and your feelings do not let you think clearly, use these signs to analyze if he likes you:
1. He doesn’t text much but is still in contact
Below, we analyze possible reasons why he is distant on social networks. But ask yourself one question: Is he constant in your life? He may not talk to you much, but he does enough to keep seeing you or at least to keep talking. This behavior clearly shows that he wants you in his life. If, on the other hand, when you stop talking to him, he resigns and disappears, things may not be very positive for you.
2. He keeps proposing plans in person
He may not say much, but what he does say is valuable: He always tries to propose plans to meet again. This means he is thinking of you and looking forward to seeing you.
Sometimes seeing our intentions text can be overwhelming, especially if it’s a guy who is shy, inexperienced, insecure, etc. But even so, if he likes you, he will still try to take a step to see you again.
3. He follows you on social networks
Even if he doesn’t talk too much, he’s there. He follows you on social media, watches your stories, and interacts with them. He doesn’t want you to know, but he likes to know about you and what you do when you’re not together (no stalker mode!).
Be careful, he may want a friendship with you, and that’s why he follows you on social networks. You shouldn’t take these signs into account individually. You must meet at least two or three signs combined to ensure that he is into you.
4. Try to be present in your life
What better way to show interest than to want to be present in your life? For example, if you play an instrument and he offers to come to see you at your concert or walks around to let you know that he would like to come to hear you play, he is indicating that he is interested in you and wants to be part of what is important to you.
Some people do this subtly but try to pay attention to the facts.
5. He invites you to be a part of his life
When he starts to involve you in his group of friends, wants you to meet his pets, tells you about his hobbies, invites you to play a video game or watch his favorite movie, he is trying to bring you closer to him. In more introverted guys, it’s usually more complicated. Therefore, it is a meaningful sign to identify.
6. It clears your doubts in person
Forget about everything and let yourself go a little more by your intuition. Maybe you are insecure, and he is not very communicative via text. But if every time you see each other, you think, “silly me, it’s obvious that there is something,” and he makes you feel confident about it, it is more than likely that you are right.
He seems interested in person but not in text: 5 common reasons
The crux of the matter: why does all that interest disappear or seem to disappear when you’re not face-to-face? Here are some reasons:
1. He’s an old-school guy
You’ve come across the classic guy who, if you lived long-distance, would send you a letter. He prefers to develop a relationship more traditionally, to get to know you without prejudice, regardless of WhatsApp or telegram messages. He is tired of depending on his mobile, and even if he’s on social media, he doesn’t text back immediately.
2. He is against social networks
It may go beyond being an old-school guy who hates social networks. Maybe he doesn’t use them or doesn’t even have them. He thinks that they give rise to misunderstandings, and he might have had some ugly experiences.
Or he doesn’t want his relationships based on being on his cell phone all day because he thinks it’s controlling his partner. He prefers to create that trust of not knowing about the other person until you see him, which can be very positive for both of you.
3. He is swamped
Some people need more hours in the day. Even if you can’t relate, they are always on the go, working, surrounded by people, and don’t usually have time to check the phone, and when they do, it’s quick.
4. He’s playing it cool
He might be ignoring you out of pride, or because he thinks it’s the tactic that will work for him, he may try to play it cool to get you mad at him. And if you’re here reading this, I’m sorry to inform you that it’s working. But on the other hand, congratulations!
5. He’s not interested
Of course, we must consider even the options we do not want to consider. He may be a playboy and will listen to you in person to get something specific from you, like getting you into bed or feeding his self-esteem. You know what to do if you think you have to beg for his attention.
What should you do about it?
If you are sure that he is interested in you, it depends on your trust. If you think things are moving forward, you could tell him directly: Why do you talk so differently on social media? Or, if you prefer to avoid confrontation, you could ask in a general way, “What do you think about using social networks?“.
Anyway, it will also depend on what you want. If you like him a lot and have many opportunities to meet him, you will accept him and get used to it. If, on the other hand, he gets on your nerves, and you spend six days every week in despair about it, you don’t have to accept his behavior.
But at the very least, you could give him a chance to explain himself and analyze if he is willing to change slightly and find a middle ground where he texts you some more or makes a little effort to be more communicative, and you not to get overwhelmed if he is more distant.
He seems interested in person but not in text: Conclusions
The reality is that it all depends on the type of person he is. Nowadays, many relationships are based on social networks, talking all day long, and that ends up leading to toxic and dependent relationships.
This may be your opportunity to mature emotionally and learn to trust your partner even if you don’t talk for many hours. It may not be easy initially, but it will bring much peace of mind. Make sure he is worth it, and don’t trust anyone. Have you ever met a guy like this? How did it go? Tell us in the comments!