It can be excruciating when a woman starts behaving strangely and distantly. You feel betrayed, especially if you haven’t done anything to deserve it. But this situation can be very advantageous for you for two reasons: you will strengthen your relationship if you know how to handle it well, or you will learn to set limits and not accept selfish and emotionally immature people in your life. Many people think ignoring her when she goes cold is good, but does it work?
This article explains how to act when she leaves without warning, whether it is beneficial to ignore her when she goes cold, and when to do it.
Ignoring her when she goes cold? Should you do it?
Yes and no. The answer is: it depends on the context.
If you have no idea why she is behaving this way, or rather, you are sure that you have done nothing to deserve it and this behavior stems from her instability or selfishness, then yes, the first step is to ignore her.
However, if you are aware that you have hurt her, you are not paying enough attention to her, or she is going through a tough time, ignoring her will only bring more problems.
Why does she go cold? 4 common reasons
Depending on your girl’s personality and personal issues, the reason will be one or the other. Has she always been like this, or is it a novelty? It is essential to consider if it is the first time or if she tends to behave this way.
1. She wants more attention
The classic: she distances herself because she wants to feel desired. She wants to be sure that you are pursuing her, that you are fighting for her, and that you will not let her go.
Yes, very romantic and very unnecessary. To you, it causes insecurity, desperation, and confusion, and you have to go after her, which is not fair in a healthy relationship.
2. You aren’t fulfilling her expectations
There are two possible scenarios: either she has very high expectations, and you are not fulfilling them even though you are doing the right things, or you do not realize that you are not doing enough.
Stop for a moment and think about whether you have this feeling of “being in debt” of trying to meet her needs. Do you have a humble attitude toward her? Do you think she’s not behaving reasonably, or maybe you should pay more attention?
3. She wants to break up
I regret to inform you that she may be distant for the dreaded reason you imagine. A breakup is also not easy for the party who decides to break up, and she may have doubts or doesn’t want to hurt you, so you feel that distance, a gradual break up.
4. She’s unstable
Unfortunately, it is prevalent nowadays that we are unstable, don’t know what we want, have mood swings, etc. If this is the case, it’s probably not the first time it’s happened unless it’s a recent relationship. Nor will it be the last.
7 reasons why (yes) you should ignore her when she goes cold
Although your first choice should always be dialogue, there are other ways to communicate. Ignoring her when she goes cold speaks many positive things, as long as you don’t go for the full no-contact rule. Here are some of them:
1. You shouldn’t be her puppet
The first thing you teach her, indirectly, is that she can’t play with you. You’re not going to play along or give in to her whims.
2. She will understand you have some standards
The second thing is that she will accept the fact that you are also a person who expects something from her, namely that you desire a communicative partner, that you know how to indicate when she has a problem, that you don’t try to play “guess what’s wrong with me today.”
3. It makes her reflect on her behavior
You will teach her a personal lesson that will make her introspect. Keep in mind that her first thought will be negative. She will think that you don’t care about her. Then she will think about why you are ignoring her, and she will take stock of whether she deserves it.
This is where pride comes into play. If she is a very proud person, she will think that you are simply being unfair to her and that she doesn’t deserve it. The second option is the desiderate effect: she realizes that she has behaved unfairly or exaggeratedly and that she has to be the one to rectify it first.
4. It makes her value you more
Do you know the cliché “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone“? The moment she realizes you’re ignoring her and she reflects on it, she’ll know you’re not always going to go after her. You’re not groveling. She will see that you are a free individual, capable of deciding to walk away from a relationship in which she is unhappy.
5. You don’t get her used to always going after you
You will have noticed in many relationships that someone always chases their partner, accepting any behavior. Don’t be her lapdog.
6. You might realize that you don’t deserve this
Not just because of what she might think or how it might affect the relationship but because of how it affects you. By rejecting certain behaviors, you will realize that you have value. And that you will not accept being treated as if you are worthless.
7. It makes you set healthy boundaries
Most importantly, you will learn to set boundaries. Sometimes, we think it’s okay to give everything for love. It’s not. You have to take care of yourself and love yourself, and for a relationship to work, you need to know how to say, “I don’t accept this behavior.”
Because think about it, if you wouldn’t treat your girlfriend like this, why would she treat you like this?
Ignoring her when she goes cold: The bottom line
Ignoring her when she goes cold is not the best strategy. But if your girlfriend is behaving particularly unfairly, and you want to give her a wake-up call, giving her space and acting indifferent can help her open her eyes. Besides, healthy boundaries are necessary for any healthy relationship for the sake of the relationship and your self-respect.
Remember that communication is vital, and if you want to achieve a good relationship with your partner, try to talk about it first. But if that doesn’t work, ignoring her could be an option. Just make sure you don’t overdo it and keep the lines of communication open. Good luck!