It is a mess when you know you are not ready for a relationship, but you like her anyway. You start to know each other, feel comfortable with her, admire her, and she surprises you every day, but you think something is blocking you. You are not ready for the commitment that a relationship implies, but you don’t want to stop the spark between you. You keep thinking, “I’m not ready for a relationship, but I like her a lot.”
Well, let’s analyze what you can do according to the reasons why you need more time:
5 reasons why you are not ready for a relationship
First of all, you need to do some introspection. Think about what is the main reason that is holding you back:
1. Fear of commitment
Fear of commitment is something particular and common among men, and they have several traits in common:
- Fear of losing your freedom
- Fear of losing a part of your personality
- Fear of missing out on opportunities by meeting other people
- Fear of being conditioned by the other person
- Anxiety when you are going to see each other and when you separate
- Stress when making plans
Usually, this fear stems from a toxic past relationship in which the other person was overly dependent, took up too much of our time, or simply from a lack of experience. The solution to this problem is to take a risk, give the relationship a chance, and discover that our assumptions are exaggerated.
In a healthy relationship, there must be communication, and you can communicate when you want to spend time alone or with other people and what your limits are. Your partner will take time out of your life that you used to devote entirely to yourself, but that will only enhance your life and change it in some ways that will always be under your control.
2. You are possessive or overprotective
Sometimes childhood leaves us marked for life, and for one reason or another, we end up having toxic tendencies toward our partner. The right thing to do is to work on them before and during the relationship.
The first thing is to be aware of it, have the will to change, and communicate it to our partner to help us overcome it by creating a bond of trust, not control.
3. Your last relationship hurt you
If you are mourning your previous relationship, it is best not to rush into a new one, or you may end up in a rebound relationship. Especially if you were cheated on and feel you need time to heal.
4. You need to figure your future out
You may not be ready because you are at a personal crossroads. You have to decide what to do with your life in the next few years, and you don’t want falling in love to influence your personal decisions.
It’s okay to be impartial, but remember that the sentimental factor will always be important in your adult life decision-making. You can’t avoid having feelings for someone to make the best decision for you. You will happily sacrifice some good choices to enjoy being with the person you love.
5. You haven’t gotten over your ex
If you’re still missing your ex and thinking about getting back together with her, it’s best not to get involved with someone else.
Signs you like her even if you’re not ready
But how much do you like this girl? If you are reading this, we suspect that you are into her.
1. You get nervous when she texts you
Classic. You don’t need to be a teenager to get nervous when the girl you like texts you.
2. You miss her after spending a day together
Many movies are actual: you romantically think of her after spending a day together, just after waking up, before going to sleep? You are in the middle of the crush phase.
3. You feel comfortable opening up to her
One of the most beautiful signs is to feel that you can trust the other person. She gets you. You don’t feel like an outsider or judged. She understands you on another level that no one else does.
4. You enjoy getting to know her
You enjoy learning about her, knowing about her life, and listening to her when she tells you her opinions and ambitions. Love in its purest form.
You are not ready for a relationship, but you like her: What can you do?
Now you know what you like and why you don’t feel ready to be in a relationship. It’s time to decide on a plan of action:
1. Think about the reason why you can’t be in a relationship
As you have seen, it depends a lot on the severity of the issue. It may be temporary, like deciding what you want to do with your life or that you need to get over your ex. Some reasons are compelling, and it would be preferable not to commit to her.
Remember that you are in no hurry. Other reasons, however, can be dealt with while you are still getting to know each other and even starting a relationship. It would be best to reflect on how long you think it will take you to be ready.
2. Have an honest conversation with her about it
Once clear, it is time to talk to her if you have developed trust. Explain to her your situation. Tell her you like her but need to get to know her and go very slowly.
You must create a relationship based on trust and communication. This bond will only be possible if you keep opening up to her about your problems and if she is patient, empathetic, and understanding.
You will have to risk her saying no because she may not be ready for the emotional responsibility of supporting the guy you like in, for example, getting over his ex.
3. Go to therapy
Regardless of your love life, it is very advantageous for you to go to a professional.
Yes, you should all ask for help from a psychologist, even if you do not plan to play with your life. It is about learning to understand yourself better and getting the tools to help you overcome any situation in your life.
Not ready for a relationship, but I like her. The bottom line
The most important conclusion you can draw is that you are within your rights to enjoy a loving development with another person while taking care of yourself and striving to get better, as long as you are honest with the other person and committed to overcoming your problems.
No problem will last forever, nor do you have to go through these times alone. Depending on the reason, you can lean on the other person, making your basis from the beginning reliable, based on trust and communication.
Have you ever been in a similar situation? What was stopping you, and how did you solve it? Tell us your experience in the comments.