Skip to Content

If he takes hours to text back, should I do the same?

You don’t have to be super social media and phone-dependent to feel desperate when the guy you like takes hours to respond to you. You feel like you always initiate conversations, see his messages after ten seconds, and struggle not to respond to him immediately. But if he takes hours to text back, should you do the same?

Hah, it takes you 8 hours to reply to me? Now, wait your three minutes.” The problem is that you start questioning why he’s behaving this way and what you should do about it. “Could it be that he doesn’t like me?”, “Does he want to tell me something?”, “if he takes hours to text back, should I do the same?“.

Hopefully, by the time you have finished reading this article, you will feel calmer and more explicit about what you can do.

Reasons why he takes hours to text back

First, let’s analyze why he takes so long to text you back. Which one do you identify your guy with?

1. He doesn’t want to depend on his cell phone

Maybe he is a more bohemian guy who prefers to use an old cell phone, to speak only by voice call, and not to depend on social networks. How can you recognize this kind of guy? He probably doesn’t have social networks or has abandoned them. He doesn’t usually respond to anyone else, and when you see each other in person, he doesn’t pull out his phone.

if he takes hours to text back should I do the same - he doesn't want to depend on his phone

This behavior is a good sign. He abhors digital relationships, and even if he likes you, he prefers to build a relationship based on interpersonal interactions. Of course, this can be a problem if you live far away or don’t have many occasions to see each other.

2. He has a lot of pending conversations

He can be the opposite: the typical popular guy with a thousand unread messages from various conversations. He avoids opening WhatsApp to prevent people from seeing him online. He gets stressed out and needs to schedule when to reply to certain people. He has too much online social life, and even if he’s on social media, he can’t text you back immediately.

3. He is too busy

Not everyone lives with an 8-hour-a-day responsibility and can enjoy free time the rest of the day. You may be one of these people who have a lot of duties, travel a lot during the day, is part of a thousand projects and associations, or has many hours of work, classes, studying, etc.

Maybe he has some free time but doesn’t want to spend it answering messages. In this case, you will have to learn to value the time he dedicates to you. And remember, quality messages and content are more important than many small messages or stickers.

4. You are not his priority

Maybe he likes you, but he has more important matters or people to attend to first. The most obvious example is the kind of guy who, after school, has to help out at his dad’s bar, be with his mom, take care of his grandma and walk the dog. He cares about you, but there is always something more urgent to attend to first.

5. He doesn’t care about you

It’s not all going to be excused. You may have to accept the reality, and that is that he does not respond to you because he is not interested in you, and he does it only out of politeness.

if he takes hours to text back should I do the same - he doesn't care about you

Try to recognize if this is your case according to his messages. They may be few but significant, or he may answer you, trying to continue the conversation and proposing to see you in person.

6. He’s going through something

Maybe he’s going through a rough time and lacks the will to talk even though he has time. It could be a breakup, a time of change, or something difficult that he may not have told you about.

If he takes hours to text back, should I do the same?

When it takes hours to text back, the question is whether you should behave the same way. Or how often should you text your crush?

Imitating his behavior is probably going to take some mental effort, and what you should be doing is focusing your attention and energy on yourself. Regardless of why he takes time to respond, you may obsess over him and hold a grudge if it affects you negatively.

Therefore, the healthiest thing for you would be to try to forget the message and not control the phone so much. Walk away and let the relationship continue naturally without forcing things.

What could happen if I do the same?

If you decide to take hours to respond to her, too, two scenarios could happen:

He will realize and change

The best scenario: he will open his eyes. He will see that you are free to walk away from him if he doesn’t offer you a minimum of communication. He will probably tell you to meet in person, ask you more about your life, and generally start to be more attentive.

if he takes hours to text back should I do the same - he won't care

He’ll notice and won’t care

He will undoubtedly notice if there’s a drastic change in how you talk to him via text. But be prepared for heartbreak because it’s possible he’ll let it go, and you’ll produce the opposite effect to the one you’d like: He’ll pull away more and more, and you’ll end up not talking anymore.

It will be painful if this happens, but you will save time and energy.

If he takes hours to text back, should you do the same? Final words

We should always empathize with others and understand that we are not the center of their world. The guy may not respond to you because he is going through certain things in his life, or he may not be interested in you.

But regardless of the case, the most important thing is that you don’t obsess about it. If it’s a relationship that, for one reason or another, stalls, it can’t depend on your efforts to talk more.

He knows he is slow to respond to you and can give explanations to reassure you or leave it alone, so do not justify his actions. If he offers insecurity initially, it is probably a relationship with no future.

Have you ever been in a situation where the guy takes hours to text back? How did you deal with it? Let us know in the comments!