A simple message from anyone who remembers you on your birthday can be a sign full of secrets when it comes from your ex. Spelunkers, get out your tools because it’s time to find the hidden message. The drama starts with “why did my ex text me happy birthday?” and ends with “he wants to get back together” or “he’s laughing at me.“
But these are not the only possibilities. Every relationship is a world, and here we have come to help you decipher this great enigma:
Six reasons why your ex texted you “happy birthday.”
First, there are many reasons why an ex would use the occasion of your birthday to get back in touch if that’s what he wants.
1. You ended things recently
If you were together until recently, you can’t blame him. He’s still not used to his new normal, and not congratulating you would make him feel guilty. It would probably make you feel forgotten and angry. You still don’t have clear things, so he prefers to be friendly and approachable.
2. You ended things a long ago
On the other hand, if it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you haven’t had contact, he may have finally felt comfortable talking to you. It’s his way of telling you that it’s been a while, that it’s no longer a drama to establish contact, and that he still remembers you and important dates.
It doesn’t necessarily mean getting back in touch or getting back together, although it could be a start to becoming friends again.
3. He misses you
It could simply be that option. Yes, he misses you. Maybe he wants to get back together, maybe not. But it’s your birthday, and his feelings got the better of him. He wanted to send you his best wishes and let you understand that he still thinks of you.
4. He wants to be friends again
Maybe he is over the breakup, maybe not. But he does not want to lose you and wants to be friends. Congratulating you may be an excuse to have that conversation about it or to remind you that there is no bad blood between you. That he remembers you fondly.
5. He doesn’t want you to forget about him
Some people have a hard time accepting you forgot them. They feel left behind and abandoned. Especially if they struggle to get over you. He wants to keep sending you signals, so you know he’s still there, not letting you forget he exists. He probably intends to do intermittent reinforcement to keep you clinging to him.
6. He wants to talk about other stuff
Maybe you have some resolved stuff, and he wants to talk about it for a while. Congratulating you is an excuse to start the conversation since the most challenging part is usually “how can I say hello?” So be prepared for him to decide the next day to ask you how you’re doing or if you feel like talking about something.
What can you text back? Should you even text him back?
If accepting that your ex has texted you, trying to stay calm, and interpreting the message weren’t enough, now you have to figure out what to do about it. Text him back, don’t text him back, and in what way? These are your best options:
1. Thank him out of politeness
Unless your ex is a psychopath or has been mean to you, the proper thing to do is to say thank you out of politeness. It shows that you are capable of maintaining a cordial relationship and that, above all, you are a polite and mature person.
2. Thank him and ask how are you doing
If it’s been a long time since you broke up, you ended well, and you would also like to talk again or start working on a friendship, in addition to thanking him for the congratulations, you can ask him about his life.
How? You can ask how everything is going in a friendly, generic way. Or you can try to be a little more approachable and ask half-jokingly about something specific to break the ice. Ensure you’re not misreading the signals, so you don’t get confused.
3. Do not text back
If your ex is a psycho or misbehaved with you and the recent breakup, you have every right not to text him back. This posture can lead to ending the conversation or him texting you again.
They usually reply with an aggressive-passive message about the fact that you have ignored them or a half-victimizing message in which they pretend to be sympathetic. What is the best thing you can do? Keep ignoring him.
Put yourself first, and don’t stoop to his level, even if he challenges you. If he keeps insisting, don’t hesitate to block him.
Why did my ex text me happy birthday? Do not panic
Getting back in touch with an ex is always a complicated matter. When he is the one who takes the initiative, it can catch you off guard. What does it mean? What can you do?
First of all, never answer impulsively. Reflect on your particular situation, whether he is worthwhile or whether it would be better to ignore him. Then, calibrate your emotions, think about what you want and whether it is the right time or whether it would be better to respond politely and, perhaps, resume contact later.
You do not owe him anything and do not need to rush into anything. Have you ever been in a situation like this? What did you do? Let us know in the comments.