Skip to Content

The power of silence after a breakup: Does it work?

All breakups are usually very emotionally chaotic. Things start to go wrong, you go through a few weeks of a crisis, and then a fight or argument triggers the breakup. Sometimes it is by mutual agreement, although this does not make it any less painful, and sometimes it ends with disappointments, lies, and betrayals. The reality is that every couple is different, but we all share the pain of losing someone who has been a constant in our lives. And that’s why we need to use the power of silence after a breakup.

Someone we love dearly and with whom we have shared very intense moments, and with whom we have welcomed into our intimacy. Regardless of how amicable the breakup has been, it is necessary to spend some time without contact.

It would be best not to underestimate the power of silence after a breakup. We explain why it is essential, how to carry it out and how to benefit from it.

The power of silence after a breakup: Why is it key?

Your head is a mess, and even if you have left your partner or even if you agree, your brain will tell you that you want to go back, that you were better off before. The chemical process in your brain will be as if you were addicted to a drug. You will try to find any excuse or reason to go back. You are not thinking clearly. You are not yourself.

power of silence after break up - silence is key

You need to calm down, think coldly about the breakup and the relationship, and get back to feeling happy without your ex. Then, you will be able to analyze what happened and realize that going back is usually not a good idea.

6 crucial tips to deal with the power of silence after a breakup

The principle will depend on whether it was a mutually agreed breakup or whether you had to leave them and ask them to leave you alone.

1. If they insist on talking, block them

If your ex refuses to leave you and pretends to be romantic, defending that they have to get you back and not respecting your decisions, you’d better block them.

Think that you are doing it for the good of both of you. Make sure they don’t try to contact you through any social network and explain the situation to your friends and family to avoid uncomfortable encounters.

2. Erase their contact 

No matter how clear you are, you may be tempted to send them a message or keep an eye on their social networks. Look at their stories, profile pictures, likes, etc. To prevent yourself from obsessing, delete their contacts from all social networks. You can be on social media but don’t text them or check their profile/stories.

3. Control yourself: Don’t check their profiles

You will want to know about them often, even if you don’t follow them or have them added. Many people create fake accounts to be able to gossip from anonymity. You will have many opportunities to stalk them, so you must use your willpower.

4. Talk to a friend when you feel like talking to them

If you find it hard to resist, tell a trusted person what you are going through and ask them to support you when you have moments of doubt. You’ll need something to distract you and someone to help you reach your senses.

5. Avoid places where you know they used to be

Don’t play tricks on yourself. It would be easy to propose to your friends to go to that place where you know they might be. Well, don’t. Tell your friends where you think you might run into them, and avoid going to those places.

power of silence after break up - avoid places

6. Think of all the reasons why speaking to them would end up hurting you

Think about how awful it would be to talk to your ex again. The conversation would be awkward, they might move on, you might feel humiliated, and you might realize that time passes, people change, and nothing is the same.

Think about the anxiety levels they would cause you and that nothing will change about why you broke up.

Why would you benefit from contact zero? The power of silence

If it is still not clear to you why you need the no contact rule to help you overcome the breakup without falling back into old patterns, we explain it briefly:

1. You need time to grieve

It would help if you had time to grieve before you recover, and talking to your ex can only distract you and make mental messes. Empathize with yourself. Allow yourself to be sad for a while and get tired of being wrong.

2. You need to be independent again

There will come a time when you will want to force yourself to be better. Little by little, you will get your life back on track without needing that constant daily presence and surprise! You will discover that you are fine on your own.

3. You will understand why it is a good thing you broke up

Once you get your life back on track, you can look objectively at everything that went wrong in the relationship and realize that staying together would have been a disaster and would have brought a lot of unnecessary pain.

4. You will learn what you want and don’t want in your life

Every relationship leaves you learning; in this case, you will know what you don’t want to put up with in your future partner and what you will learn to appreciate. For example, you will want a communicative person, who knows how to take care of herself, understands healthy boundaries in relationships, and respects you.

5. A new beginning

Fortunately or unfortunately, everything and everyone is temporary in life. This pain you are feeling will also pass, even if now you think it is eternal. And when it expires, you will be happy again, you will go on with your life, and new people will come into your life who will make you more comfortable and whom you will love madly.

power of silence after break up - a new beginning

The ultimate tip

Do you want to talk to or call him and feel you can’t resist the temptation? Think about how the conversation would go. I’m giving you the spoiler:

  1. You’d feel a lot of nerves and anxiety.
  2. You’d be disappointed in his response, and you’d feel disappointed.
  3. You won’t forget him faster, and it won’t go back to how it was before, but now it will hurt more.
  4. You will blame yourself for speaking to him and feel humiliated or pathetic.
  5. Maybe they are doing better, and it hurts your pride.
  6. Nothing will ever be the same again, not even in the best-case scenario.
  7. Everything that made you happy won’t come back when problems arise again.
  8. It’s okay to miss and not get back in touch.

The power of silence after a breakup – Final Words

No split is easy, so don’t make it harder than it needs to be. Use zero contact with your ex and surround yourself with your closest friends. Take care of yourself and love yourself to help you overcome this difficult time.

Always remember that the pain will go away so slowly that you won’t even realize it, and before you know it, you’ll feel good again. Have you ever experienced a breakup? What tip would you give to someone who is going through it?