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She says she needs time. How long should I wait?

Even the healthiest and the longest-lasting relationship has rough patches, like Lily and Marshall from “How I Met Your Mother.” But that doesn’t make it any easier. She says she needs time. How long should I wait? The big question.

It’s the uncertainty that puts you in a tricky situation. To figure out how much time she needs, you must first think about why she needs to go away without talking to you. This article will help you understand how long it might take and what to expect.

5 reasons why she needs time

First, you should think about why your partner asked you for this break in the relationship:

1. You’ve had a huge fight

Maybe it was because she has a lot of stress in her personal life, and you ended up having a very heated argument. Or perhaps it was something between you: Resentment for something that happened in the past, changes in your relationship, insecurities, jealousy, lies?

she says she needs time how long should I wait - huge fight

Are you clear why you had such a serious argument that led her to doubt your relationship?

2. You’ve cheated

Infidelities are among the most common reasons why couples usually take a break. Feeling betrayed by your partner breaks you up, and not everyone can overcome it. But some couples move on.

It depends on whether it was a long time ago or recently, whether you said it right away or hid it, whether you found out from your partner or someone else you cheated with, whether it was just a kiss or something more, etc.

Of course, trying to hide it from your partner is the worst thing that can happen because it adds to betrayal and lying, especially with an ex! Have you not learned anything from the movies?

3. She doesn’t trust you anymore

Because of a recent or past betrayal, or because of some lie, or maybe because of her insecurities, she feels she doesn’t trust you anymore. Think about how much torment it has taken in her head.

How often will she have been worried that you don’t love her anymore, that you like another girl, that you are going to leave her, misunderstanding things, obsessing, and in short, suffering? And that is what has led her to need time away from you.

4. She doesn’t know how she feels

Unfortunately, love sometimes gets lost. We stick with people because they are our comfort zone until we start to get bored and rethink the relationship.

Or you may go through a lot in your personal life and feel confused, questioning your decisions and future. Sometimes we need that time to realize that we love that person beyond just missing them out of habit.

5. You are going to be apart for a long time

Life happens. Maybe one of you will have to spend some time in another country for studies or work, which will be too challenging for both of you. She has been feeling insecure, and she doesn’t know how she is going to feel.

Maybe it’s too long, and it’s going to hurt too much for her to miss you. Perhaps she will spend time being jealous or insecure and resent you. Maybe she’s not ready for commitment. These reasons may lead her to reflect on whether or not she is competent and worth trying.

she says she needs time how long should I wait - you are going to be apart

How long should I wait? What should you do while waiting?

Waiting is inevitable. What should you do? For starters, don’t spend the day crying on the couch, constantly waiting for a call or a message. That time is going to pass. The best thing you can do is use it to your advantage:

1. Take care of yourself

It’s time to empathize with yourself. Take care of yourself, go out with friends, and make time for yourself. Enjoy yourself, make sure you laugh and have fun for a while every day. Don’t spend every day alone or cooped up at home. Get out of the house, have fun and be as productive as possible without putting too much pressure on yourself.

2. Reflect on what happened and what could happen

Think, but don’t overthink. If she needs time for something you did (like cheating on her), it’s time to learn from your mistakes. You should take stock of your errors and their consequences and accept them, not repeat them, and be a better person.

What could happen? Do you deserve that she ends up leaving you? Whatever his decision is, you must respect it. It is not a matter of beating yourself up about your mistakes but of learning from them.

3. Talk with a friend

It is important not to isolate yourself. Let your friends scold you if you hurt your girlfriend, but also let them support you, as it is not the end of the world.

4. Respect her space

Another crucial aspect is respecting her time and space. It doesn’t count as respect to write her every day if she told you not to, nor to leave bouquets on her door, control all her social networks, and talk to her friends.

Make it clear that you will give her space, not ignore her, so she can take her time and think calmly. Don’t try to intervene on your behalf.

She says she needs time. How long should I wait?

I’m sorry to tell you that there is no one answer for everyone. It will depend first on her, then on the circumstances, and finally on your patience. That depends on whether she needs more or less time, whether she is working or you have exams or some trip or obligation in between that may lengthen the time (remember that if she is busy, she will not have so much time to think about it).

she says she needs time how long should I wait - respect her space

Finally, it’s up to you. Of course, the minimum you can expect should be one or two weeks, depending on the severity of the issue, but the ideal time would probably be between two or three weeks and a month and a half.

Why? Because she’s probably having a hard time, too. She needs time to feel better, take care of herself, cool down, and then think about the issue when she is no longer so affected.

She says she needs time: Final Words

If she needs time and you love her, respecting her decision is the first and indispensable thing. Then, give her time and in the meantime, try to reflect and learn from your mistakes while taking care of yourself.

Try to prepare yourself mentally for possible scenarios, but don’t overthink them. It is not about adding to your suffering. Now that you know why she may need time and what to do, waiting will be a little easier. Good luck!