Even if it’s obvious, if you don’t tell her, she’ll never know with 100% certainty that you have feelings for her. You have a good time, you have fun, you like her, and you have trust and some intimacy, but you keep wondering, “should I tell her how I feel? or am I going to ruin everything?“.
I’m telling you straight up. In this article, we’ll give you the reasons you already know but need to be said to tell her how you feel about her because YOLO, and even if everything went wrong, you’d still get out of the situation you’re in with freedom. When one door closes, another one opens.
But we do not give you these tips blindly. We will also analyze together some situations in which, on the contrary, it would be better not to tell her how you feel.
Ready? Let’s take it one step at a time.
6 reasons why you should tell her how you feel
As I was saying, the reasons we will tell you are deep down. But it would be best if you read this to be clear:
1. She might like you back
First of all, if everything turns out rosy, you could be reciprocated, and you would be giving rise to a beautiful relationship. Can you imagine missing this opportunity just because of the fear of rejection? Someone has to take the plunge. What’s stopping you?
2. You will be free
This reason should push you the most: you can be at peace once you have proposed. Regardless of his response, you will be free of that weight and those nerves. It’s fun to spend some time flirting, but it can also get tiring and burn you out.
If she reciprocates, you can start a beautiful relationship together, and if she says no, you’ll have no more doubts and save yourself a lot of illusions that are piling up to be demolished later. The sooner this happens, the better for you.
3. You can be honest
Not being able to speak with total sincerity to the person you love can be a punishment. Once you have declared yourself, you can open up completely, without limits, without hindrance.
4. You could build a different relationship
Even if she responds that she doesn’t feel the same way you do, it doesn’t mean that all is lost. If your connection is confirmed, you can strive to be friends. The sooner you get used to the idea, the less it will hurt.
5. You might miss your opportunity
If you wait too long, she might think you’re not interested, move on, or even meet someone else. That’s why the longer it takes, the more pain you may suffer and the more chances she will have to leave.
6. You will regret not saying anything
Even if you convince yourself not to say anything to her out of fear or because you think it’s not reciprocated. You will regret it because you will never know for sure. Few things are as mentally tormenting as the famous “What if…” or “What could have been but wasn’t.”
Don’t tell her how you feel if:
Not everything is rosy, and we know it.
There are some occasions when more than a push, you’ll need brakes. In general, it will be much more beneficial to come out in the open with the truth and take your chances, but there are times when it’s wiser to let go.
Here are some of those cases:
1. She’s not over her ex
Suppose she’s not emotionally available because she’s not over her ex or has made it clear to you that she doesn’t want or isn’t ready to get emotionally involved in a relationship. In that case, you should respect her time and space.
You can still be a friend without burdening her and accepting her decisions.
2. You are not over your ex
You may like her as a defense mechanism for the pain of getting over your ex. It is your rebound relationship project. You’d better force yourself to wait and not try anything with her until you have healed. Also, keep in mind sometimes rebounds make you miss your ex more. Don’t play with someone’s feelings just to forget about somebody else.
3. There is no future for you
For example, maybe you met during a vacation and spent two unforgettable months, but now she has to go to the other side of the world.
What is the point of starting a relationship like this? If she lived a little closer or you had spent a few more months together, maybe the situation would be different, and even if it were complicated, it would be worth it.
But in this case, it would be too many difficulties and impediments for a person you barely know, even if you feel you have connected. It’s not the only case, just an example, but you get it.
4. The situation could get super awkward
If you’re lifelong friends and both part of a group of friends, proposing could trigger a lot of things. Not only do you risk her rejecting you, but you could start to feel awkward hanging out with your friends and end up losing them too, or she could be forced to stop hanging out with you.
Again, this is just an example, but there may be a thousand situations where it would be very complex and unnecessarily awkward, such as if she were a coworker.
5. She already rejected you
If it’s not the first time you’ve felt this way or the first time you’ve proposed, don’t give her a chance to reject you twice. It’s time to move on.
Should I tell her how I feel? Final words
Unless it’s a situation where you know the outcome could be very complicated or devastating for either of you, it’s probably best to come clean and make your intentions clear. If your connection is real, whatever her response, you shouldn’t have to lose her from your life.
So take a chance because I assure you that you will survive no matter what. The worst that can happen is that she will say no, but at least you’ll know for sure, and you can start to move on. There is plenty of other fish in the sea!