Trust is something that is gained slowly and lost very quickly. Maintaining communication, trust, and empathy in a relationship can sometimes be complicated, as we are all human and have our flaws and insecurities. We all go through difficult times that make us doubt what we think we know. And sometimes we wonder, “why does my boyfriend think I’m cheating?“
You need to know that even the most robust partnership sometimes has ups and downs. The important thing is that you try to respond in the right way.
It can hurt your relationship if your boyfriend distrusts you or thinks you’re cheating on him when you’re not. Therefore, it is essential first to understand why your boyfriend thinks you are cheating and, secondly, to act according to the reason. And that process is what we are going to teach you in this article:
9 reasons why your boyfriend thinks you are cheating
How you will act concerning his suspicions will depend significantly on the reason he bases his suspicions. Having unfounded insecurities is not the same as if it has happened before or there have been some changes in the relationship.
These are the reasons why your boyfriend distrusts you:
1. He has already been cheated on
Even if everything has been perfect between you, we all have a past. He may have suffered a lot in his previous relationship, he may have been cheated on, and although he understands that you are not his ex, now he must work to overcome the insecurity that she left him.
It is undoubtedly something that, with time and communication, he can improve.
2. You already cheated on him
A very different situation is that he is still working on forgiving you if you have already betrayed his trust in the past. If you are still together, it is because he has decided to give you a chance, and he will have to work on forgiving you as much as you have to work to earn back his trust.
However, you will have to accept that there will be periods of mistrust and put up with his fears, doing your best to offer him trust and security again.
3. You cheated on your previous relationship
This reason usually goes unnoticed because it does not affect your current partner directly. Maybe he didn’t think anything of it at first, but all it takes is some personal insecurity or something slightly strange to remind your boyfriend that you cheated on your ex.
He constantly asks himself, ‘Why wouldn’t she cheat on me too?‘ And it stands to reason. Sometimes reputation precedes us.
You’ll have to prove that you’re not that person anymore, that it was a moment’s mistake, and that you learned your lesson.
4. He is insecure
Not everything is rooted in you. Many guys carry their demons around without saying anything because admitting they have insecurities makes them seem vulnerable. But he may be insecure with you for a thousand reasons.
Maybe he thinks he’s small potatoes next to you, that you’re smarter and prettier, that you have more friends, that certain friends of yours have a better relationship with you, and so on.
You must understand that it is not your job to make him overcome his insecurities.
You should not adapt your life to make him feel comfortable if you are not doing anything wrong. He must overcome his insecurities, love himself more, and understand his worth. And you, as his partner, can support and encourage him along the way.
5. You have unresolved issues
Problems don’t magically disappear. If you had an argument or a relationship problem that you decided to ignore or leave in the past, it is likely to resurface, but in a different form.
These issues will affect your relationship and may make your partner distrust you and think that you haven’t fixed it because you don’t value it enough, and from there, he will start to draw conclusions.
6. You have been distant
Maybe for personal reasons, you are going through a rough patch, you are sad, overwhelmed, suffer from anxiety, or are insecure about the relationship. Being in a relationship involves commitment, so you can’t just isolate yourself and let your boyfriend try to guess what’s going on with you.
If you don’t want to share what is bothering you, you should at least explain to him that you are going through something and that it’s not about him so he doesn’t suffer unnecessarily. Don’t apply the “when he pulls away, do nothing” rule unless you want to make things worse.
7. The relationship is changing
You spent a lot of time together, but recently there have been changes. Now you have other jobs and responsibilities. You live farther away. You are busier, or he is more accessible and having trouble adjusting to the new reality. He doesn’t know how to interpret the distance and thinks you are cheating on him.
Try to identify this situation to offer him comfort until he gets used to it.
8. You are constantly on your phone
You have every right to use social networks as you please, whenever and with whomever you want. But the fact that you have a significant online presence and your partner knows you socialize a lot is likely to increase his insecurities.
The solution will always be to talk things out and give him the support he needs to cope with his insecurities.
9. He is possessive
We cannot excuse all behaviors. Let’s accept that some people are toxic. Many people see their partners as possessions (a red flag when dating) and do not know how to accept that they have friends or certain confidence with other people. You cannot allow him to intervene in how you relate to others.
What should you do if your boyfriend thinks you are cheating?
Now that you know what’s on his mind, what can you do about it?
a) Always be open to talk
First, let him know that you know something is bothering him and that you are always willing to talk about it.
b) Talk to him
If your boyfriend tends to isolate himself and has trouble communicating, take the initiative. Tell him that you need to talk to him about his insecurities, explain what you think, and propose a solution, which should include making an effort to be more communicative.
c) Fix your issues
It would be best to deal with your insecurities individually to be better people and live better as a couple. At the same time, you can use these issues to learn and get over the hump as a couple. Please don’t ignore the problems because they will come back like a boomerang.
d) Try new communication methods
If either of you has trouble expressing your feelings and insecurities, try a method you both feel comfortable with. Try to communicate with your partner immediately when you are feeling bad, or perhaps plan to discuss it another time.
Find the method that works best for you.
e) Do not allow him to control you
As much as you love your partner, even if his insecurities stem from others mistreating him, you cannot allow him to control you.
To be with you, he must strive to overcome his problems with your support without changing your life.
Why does my boyfriend think I’m cheating? The bottom line
We all have the right to suffer insecurities for whatever reason. Still, the commitment of being in a couple requires an effort and a learning process to be fair with our partner and lead a healthy relationship in which trust, communication, and respect abound.
If your boyfriend has insecurities, the best thing you can do is talk to him and propose a solution together. Please do not allow him to control you or make you feel guilty for something that is not your fault. And remember, always be willing to communicate and listen to your partner!
Without trust, a relationship is nothing. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t trust your partner? Tell us about your experience in the comments!