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Signs he feels guilty for hurting you and what to do

Do you know that moment when your boyfriend feels guilty about what he has done? You know when he regrets doing something even before you know exactly what happened. But sometimes, it can be hard to recognize certain behaviors with the people we love the most. In this article, we help you recognize signs he feels guilty for hurting you (or betraying you) before or after admitting it.

6 signs he feels guilty for hurting you, but you don’t know why

In a relationship, it’s common for people to make mistakes and hurt their partners. However, not every mistake is forgivable; not everyone can admit their faults and apologize. If you suspect that your boyfriend has done something like betraying you but hasn’t said anything, here are some signs that he might be feeling guilty about it:

1. He’s been acting distant

One of the first signs that your boyfriend might feel guilty about hurting you is if he’s been acting distant or avoidant. This behavior could mean that he’s avoiding contact with you, or he’s been acting colder and less affectionate than usual (and he is not very good at hiding it). This could signify that he’s feeling guilty and doesn’t know how to face you.

signs he feels guilty for hurting you - acting distant

2. He’s become more attentive to your needs

On the contrary, if your partner is usually neglectful or doesn’t pay much attention to your needs but suddenly becomes more attentive, it could be a sign that he’s feeling guilty. He may be trying to make up for what he’s done wrong by being extra caring and attentive, consciously or unconsciously.

3. He’s been apologizing more often

This could be a small sign that he feels some regret. Have you noticed that your partner has been apologizing more frequently than usual? It could be a sign that he feels guilty. He may be apologizing for small things that he wouldn’t usually apologize for, or he may be apologizing for items that aren’t even his fault. A bit weird, isn’t it?

4. He’s been more argumentative

Another common sign that he has done something he shouldn’t have is becoming more confrontational. He picks fights or gets defensive, even over small things. This could be a sign that he’s trying to avoid dealing with his guilt and projecting his feelings onto you.

5. He’s been acting nervous or anxious

Pay attention to his anxiety levels. He may be fidgeting, sweating, or avoiding eye contact. This could signify that he feels guilty and unsure of how to handle the situation. Knowing him well enough could teach you what he is hiding from you.

signs he feels guilty for hurting you - acting nervous

6. He’s been making more plans for the future

If your partner has been commenting a lot more about your future, it could mean he wants to be in control again because he feels guilty. He may be trying to reassure you that things will get better, or he may be trying to distract himself from his mind.

Signs he feels guilt and regret AFTER admitting what he has done

Admitting a mistake or wrongdoing can be difficult for anyone, especially regarding relationships. If your partner has admitted to hurting you, and you’re trying to determine if he genuinely feels guilty and regretful, here are five signs to look for:

1. He’s actively trying to make amends

One of the first signs that your partner feels guilty is if he’s actively and consciously trying to make up for what he did. He might spend a lot of time frequently apologizing in many ways, or he’s doing things to try and make it up to you, such as bringing you gifts or doing something you like. He may be trying to show you that he’s truly remorseful and wants to make things right.

2. He’s willing to listen, understand and learn from his mistakes

If your guy’s willing to listen to your perspective and know how he’s hurt you, it could be a sign that he’s feeling guilty and something has clicked inside him after realizing what he’s done and what he could lose. He may ask you what he can do to make it up to you, or he may be open to hearing your feelings and thoughts on the situation.

3. He’s changed his behavior

Has he positively changed his behavior? Starting from stopping with the actions that led to the hurt, or he may be actively trying to be more understanding and compassionate towards you.

4. He’s showing vulnerability

If your boyfriend is willing to show how vulnerable he is now and is honest about his true feelings and what led him to fail you, he might feel guilty and responsible. He may express remorse, shame, or sadness over his actions and ask for your forgiveness.

5. He’s following through on his promises

Lastly, if your boyfriend is following through on his promises to make things right, he probably wants to win you back, no matter what. Maybe he is doing something he said he would, such as going to therapy or counseling or making changes to his behavior that show he’s taking his mistakes seriously.

signs he feels guilty for hurting you - following through

Signs he feels guilty for hurting you. Final Words

Always keep in mind that he was wrong, not you. If it was entirely his fault, you owe him nothing. You will have to act in the best way for yourself and decide to forgive him for your well-being, but whether to move on or give him another chance will depend on how you feel about the new reality in your relationship. You are not responsible for his guilt and should not feel sorry for him.

But how he acted after admitting his mistake may mean something to make your mind up. If he regrets it and is truly changing for you, it may be worth giving him another chance. Do you believe in second chances, or do people never really change? Let’s discuss this in the comments.