Are you one of those people who check their notifications every five seconds, waiting for a message from your partner? Do you identify with the phrase, “if he can go a day without talking to you…“
You probably feel paranoid at times. You don’t know if it’s fair to ask him to be more present if he’s distancing himself, if something is wrong, or if it’s all a movie in your head. Put the phone down for a moment and concentrate on reading this post. When you’re done, you’ll have more precise ideas.
My boyfriend can go days without talking to me: 8 possible reasons
There are many possibilities why your boyfriend can go days without talking to you. You will have to act in one way or another depending on your situation.
1. He prefers face-to-face communication
If you have the opportunity to see each other in person every few days, he may be an old-school soul.
This preference doesn’t mean he doesn’t think about you or doesn’t want to talk to you. Simply talking through messages is not his style. He prefers to do his own thing and reserve his desire to see you and tell you everything in person.
2. He wants to avoid dependence on the cellphone
In recent years cell phones have become an extension of the body. There is no hand without a phone. As a reaction, many people decide to remove notifications, turn off their cellphones, look at them as little as possible, and even intend not to respond to messages as soon as they read them.
If this is the case, perhaps you could take the opportunity to learn from him to avoid obsessing about messages.
3. He’s not codependent
Everyone is the way they are according to their personality, experiences, etc. Maybe you are an insecure person, or you feel that you need reassurance, even through messages, to know that the other person does not forget about you.
If he goes a day without talking to you, but when you see each other, everything remains the same; there is nothing wrong. This period is the time to work on yourself. Learn to trust your partner and create your independence.
We will always depend emotionally on the people we love. If they leave, it will hurt us, but that does not mean we rely entirely on anyone. Learning to be well alone is essential to enjoying a healthy relationship.
4. He’s busy
Is it temporary? If he’s going through a hectic period, he may simply be working or studying, taking care of other things that take time away from talking to you. In this case, it might be temporary. Have you tried asking him directly?
5. It’s too early in the relationship
If it’s a very new relationship, you might still need to get to know his rhythms. Perhaps he doesn’t want to create the typical relationship based on an obsession with controlling each other’s lives.
If you’ve only been together briefly, it’s time to talk things out. Express your feelings and opinion, listen to what he says, and try to reach a middle ground where you both feel comfortable. If you’re just a few weeks into the relationship, analyze how often you should text a guy you just started dating.
6. You have reached another level of trust
If everything is going well, you have been together for a long time. He might trust you enough not to talk to you one day and know everything will be fine. It is normal to feel strange if you are not used to it.
Think about couples who have been together all their lives. Do you think they send each other messages every day they have been apart?
Trust and security are no longer necessary when there is that basis. You know that when you see her again, everything will return to where it was. Try to trust your boyfriend as he trusts you.
7. He’s playing games
Maybe this person has not had serious relationships and lacks some maturity in some aspects.
He wants to make himself mysterious by not talking to you for a day because he knows that he will get your attention, make you worry, and go after him. And if you’re reading this article, it’s because it’s worked.
If you think he’s just playing games with you, don’t make the mistake of playing games yourself and stop talking. Tell him how you feel, set boundaries, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad for fun. Remember that sometimes uncomfortable conversations are necessary to grow as a couple.
8. Something’s wrong
Not every possible reason why he doesn’t write to you for days has to be healthy. Yes, he may be having doubts about the relationship, he may be offended for some reason or may be pulling away, he may be being selfish, etc. Should you text him first to solve the problem?
There’s no need for him to explain why it could go wrong because I’m sure a thousand have already crossed your mind. Even if possible, make sure you base it on facts, not assumptions.
Don’t act or take anything for granted without knowing for sure. Don’t let your insecurities sabotage your relationship, and find the best way to talk it out to resolve the situation in an adult and mature way.
If he can go a day without talking to you? What can you do?
First of all, identify what the reason is. Is it something positive? Does he trust you a lot, prioritize in-person communication, or is he an immature person playing games with you? Is something wrong?
There is only one way to find out and solve it: talk to him. Confront him peacefully but directly. Don’t be fooled. Be honest. Say that you feel insecure and that you need to know if there is a reason to worry or if it is something positive.
If there is no problem, remember that you don’t have to accept their behaviors at face value. It’s about both of you making an effort for each other. You will have to admit that you will talk on fewer occasions than you would like, and he will have to find a way to give you security and confidence so that he doesn’t make you doubt the relationship.
If he can go a day without talking to you, don’t let your imagination fill in the gaps of what you don’t know, especially if you consider yourself an insecure person. For a healthy relationship to work, you must talk empathetically, honestly, and directly.