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If he hasn’t contacted you in a month…

When the guy we like disappears without warning, it is normal to feel desperate. It is normal to want to understand why and blame yourself and have a thousand mental conversations that lead nowhere. Sometimes time passes, and it gets better, but it doesn’t go away because you think you must understand what happened. If he hasn’t contacted you in a month and you never knew what happened, you are expected to keep overthinking it.

In this article, we intend to help you understand what could have happened and, more importantly, what you should do about it.

7 reasons why he hasn’t contacted you in a month

The possibilities may be many, but you must be clear that none of them is your fault. Even if the source of his indifference stems from something you said or did, it is his responsibility to let you know. You can talk things through and apologize if necessary, but none of us are mind readers.

So here’s a list of options for what could have happened:

1. He lost interest

Let’s accept that maybe he was never a good person. Perhaps you didn’t know him that well (or maybe you did), maybe he’s just one of those guys who play with people without caring, and you were just another victim. He wasn’t mature or emotionally responsible enough to explain himself to you, and he just walked away.

if he hasn't contacted you in a month - he lost interest

2. Something offended him, and he never told you

Many people, especially guys, never communicate their pain, discomfort, worries, insecurities, etc.

Don’t worry too much, but something you did or said possibly pushed him away from you. And that’s on him, not on you. Because if he cares about you, he should talk to you and give you a chance to clear the air, talk, apologize when necessary, or change his mind about it.

3. He met someone else

Maybe he was interested in you until someone else came along. It hurts to imagine this scenario, but it is possible that in a short time, you will see pictures of him with another girl on social networks, and you will understand what happened. In this case, you will have to realize that losing him was the best thing to have happened to you. 

4. He didn’t see a future in the relationship

Maybe he tried to be the bigger person and didn’t see much in the relationship. Perhaps you live far away, or one of you has plans to move out soon. Maybe you have lives that are not compatible, or perhaps he thinks you are not interested in him. He saw it wasn’t going anywhere and decided to walk away before it was too late.

5. He is going through a challenging personal moment

Let’s not rule out the possibility that it has nothing to do with you. He may have problems and worries about his family, job, studies, self-esteem, or other relationships. He is not ready to get emotionally involved in a relationship with all the risks involved.

Or maybe he had a bad experience in your past relationship, and now he feels insecure about starting a new one. It’s about timing.

6. He might be playing it cool

Many people like to play it cool and prefer to be pursued. He wants you to try to seduce him without making a significant effort, and the moment you don’t follow him, he decides not to do anything, and you end up losing contact. Some guys try to act cool and make girls chase them by ignoring them.

if he hasn't contacted you in a month - playing it cool

Things to keep in mind if he has ghosted you

You won. Just imagine being in a relationship with someone this immature. Imagine being emotionally involved with someone who doesn’t know what he wants or cannot communicate his feelings when something worries him or makes him feel insecure.

This person needs to do a lot of work on himself before starting a relationship. Be clear that you need someone who can express themselves, not isolate themselves, and walk away whenever a difficulty arises.

What should you do if he hasn’t contacted you in a month?

So, what should you do if he hasn’t contacted you in a month? The first thing to do is to accept that he is not part of your life and understand that it is better this way. Then, try to carry out the following practices:

1. Think about what happened but don’t overthink it

You don’t need to deny that it happened. You need to understand as much as you can to bury it. You don’t need all the details or certainties to be sure. Just stay with the fact that he was the one who decided to walk away, so don’t overthink it because you may end up obsessing. If he suddenly disappears, let him go.

2. Be at peace with it

Don’t feel guilty or blame yourself for what you could have done or not done. Don’t think of scenarios of how it could have been or feed your anger towards it. Try to think about what will help you to be calm about it. You will need peace of mind to be able to move on.

if he hasn't contacted you in a month - be at peace

3. It’s not your responsibility

Remember that no matter what happens, it is not your responsibility to fix what happened. If he is the one who has taken the vow of silence and made zero contact, you are not the one who should propose to have a conversation to fix what happened. 

f he is a decent person, he will want to clear things up at some point. It will be your decision whether you think it’s worth the mental effort or it’s better to put it behind you.

4. Get your life back together

Take back the reins of your life. Meet other people, meet your friends, have fun alone, get your hobbies back, and make your plans for the future. It is better to focus on what is to come.

If he hasn’t contacted you in a month, prioritize yourself

Ultimately, we are all alone, and it is not a good idea to depend too much on someone who has not been in our lives for very long.

People are usually temporary, but you will always have yourself, so don’t neglect yourself. Love yourself so you can comfort yourself when others are away, and take care of yourself so you don’t get too carried away when you are hurting. If he hasn’t contacted you in a month, you have taken back a month of your life without realizing it.

Have you ever experienced something like this? Tell us in the comments!