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When he disappears, let him go

Has he left without giving you a coherent explanation? Let him go. Please don’t give him the satisfaction of going after him. You won’t feel better. It’s not what you want to hear. It’s not the easy way out. It’s not what you want to do.

You want to understand why. You feel confused and desperate, and you aren’t ready for him to leave without fighting first. But no one is ever prepared to feel abandoned. You think you want to understand why he disappeared without explanation, and the harsh reality is not hard to accept.

You feel sad and angry simultaneously—a roller coaster of emotions. You are mentally and emotionally unstable. It would help if you tried to think clearly and be rational. Perhaps by the time you have finished reading this article, you will be ready to bring closure to the issue.

Why should you let him go?  

You need to understand that no matter how much you want to fix things, he has decided to disappear and thought about it before. Do you think it will change anything to go after him? You will only lose self-respect and find more frustration along the way.

Someone capable of walking away is not worth it and would do you no good in the future. He may be unstable, insecure, or simply not appreciative enough of you. Ghosting says more about him than it does about your relationship. We’re not talking about your boyfriend not texting you for a day or two. We¿re talking about situations where he completely goes radio-silent for weeks or months.

Regardless of the difficulty of your situation, no one deserves to be abandoned in this way. Now more than ever, you need to value yourself. Say you convince him to talk or come back as you desperately want. What is done is done. Now, you are aware of what he can do, and although, at first, you may feel relief that he has “decided” to come back, insecurities and fear of abandonment would be born in you.

Thus, becoming jealous, paranoid, insecure, and a people pleaser would not be strange. You won’t respect your limit and end up having a toxic dependency relationship. All because of a person who left without warning. It is never your fault. It’s not fair to be abandoned like this.

When he disappears, let him go: 3 Reasons why he left

The million-dollar question. You’ve probably gone over it a thousand times, searching for a coherent answer. It doesn’t matter that you’ve had problems. Disappearing without warning is always a sign that he’s not ready to be in a relationship.

Here are the main reasons why someone disappears like this:

1. He needs to grow up

He may have left because he has personal problems, doesn’t love you enough, has lost interest in the relationship, or for a thousand other reasons.

But if he hasn’t been able to confront this situation, it means he needs to grow up—a lot.

Think for a moment how difficult it would be to have a healthy relationship with such a person. By disappearing, he has shown you that he is a very fragile person or that he didn’t care about you as much as you thought he did. I know it hurts, but you must use this knowledge to escape from him.

2. He is toxic

He does not know how to behave like an adult and runs away in the face of fear or a setback, being aware that he will hurt you. He doesn’t understand that he is hurting you. You must understand this. Do not idealize him or go after him. This way, you will only feed his ego and let him know that you are at his total disposal no matter how unfairly he behaves.

when he disappears let him go - toxic relationship

3. He does not value you

Of course, there are no excuses, whether he left due to personal problems or because he is a toxic person. He clearly doesn’t appreciate you enough to at least give you an explanation.

There may not even be an explanation. More importantly, no answer can make you feel better. You will only find mental calm again by accepting that he doesn’t deserve you and that his leaving is not the world’s end.

When he disappears, let him go: How to move on

At a time like this, it is difficult to control what we feel and do, so it is time to impose a set of “rules” to help you move on and get over it as soon as possible:

1. Zero Contact

Trying to be friends will backfire. Even if you think it’s the mature thing to do, you’re convincing yourself that you can do it to keep him in your life. In this way, you will only prolong the suffering. It is time to avoid all contact with him.

2. Social media: Your worst enemy

Uploading photos or tweeting for him to see or constantly checking his profiles to know about him will only create a horrible dependency and make you feel worse. It is vital that from the beginning, you block him everywhere or make sure you never see anything from him. It takes a lot of willpower, but you will have gained a lot of mental calm in a short time. 

3. Express yourself, but set limits

Don’t shut up in frustration. Count on your friends or family in times of depression, cry as much as you need to and let yourself be advised. But don’t make it your only topic of conversation. Inevitably, you’ll want to talk about it, but you’ll find it goes nowhere – it’s a vicious cycle.

when he disappears let him go - set limits

So, talk about it when you need to, but don’t bring it up whenever it pops into your head. You can tell your friends that you must distract yourself and find other things to do to keep yourself busy.

Empathize with yourself in a difficult time when you’ve been mistreated, but don’t bathe in victimhood. Take care of yourself as you strive to move forward. When he disappears, let him go…

Believe it or not, you haven’t met everyone you’re going to love. Nor all the people who will love you. And it probably won’t be hard to find someone who loves you more and better because you deserve someone who treats you, at least, fairly.

when he disappears let him go - move on

When he disappears, let him go: Final words

Remember, it’s not the end of the world, no matter how bad it feels now. You will move on and find someone who loves and appreciates you. Just give yourself time to heal your wounds and learn from this experience.

In the meantime, take care of yourself, believe in yourself, and don’t give him the power to hurt you anymore. He has already done enough damage. Let him go and never look back.