When we like someone very much, we tend to idealize him. As a result, we always look for ways to make things work. But let’s not kid ourselves. Sometimes we know right from the start when something is wrong. We choose to ignore them. Sometimes things do not flow or produce a lot of instability and insecurity, creating tense situations that do not compensate at the end of the day. But clearly, there are strong signs there will be no third date.
In this article, we explain how to recognize these situations.
7 Signs there will be no third date
If you have met a couple of times and recognize some of the signs below, there better not be a third date. Don’t try to force things. Pay attention and use your head. Let’s get started:
1. He runs hot and cold
Sometimes he looks pretty interested, and other days he doesn’t even pay attention to you—red flag. A person who is not able to spend two days being stable can only bring you problems. Some days he texts you constantly, he’s happy, and some days he doesn’t text you at all.
If he is like that from the beginning, imagine what it would be like to have a long-term relationship like him. As much as you like him, you must ask yourself: is this really what you want?
2. He doesn’t know what he wants
Do you avoid talking about the future? Does he avoid the conversation when you try to talk about feelings or what he’s looking for? More red flags.
It’s not about signing a contract on the third date but knowing that he’s open to compromise if you’re ultimately good together. If not, it could be that he’s simply running away from responsibility and even wants to use you.
3. He doesn’t want you to meet his circle
A person who “hides” you from his friends and family can’t bring anything good with him. Sometimes he doesn’t give himself a chance, or it may even be too soon. But if you recognize that he goes out of his way to keep his friends from meeting you, he may be hiding you, or he may be hiding something from you.
Meeting friends/family is not something you do on the first date, but it’s up to you to assess how serious the situation might be after 2 or more dates.
4. No initiative
Are you always the one who has to pull the conversation? Is it always up to you to organize the plans? Again, this is another factor to consider in the long run. Would you want to be with someone who never proposes to do anything?
If he has no initiative, he may hang out with you to take advantage of you, or he’s with you because he’s lonely or out of habit. Dating life is supposed to be fun, exciting, and above all, be with someone who values you and makes you feel good. Don’t forget.
On the other hand, if he texts you every day but doesn’t make plans for a third day, he might be shy, or he’s waiting for you to take the lead.
5. He might have a girlfriend
If you’ve only met him a few times, you might not know him as well as you think. Nowadays, we rely on what we see on social networks but remember that they always decide what we can see.
What if they have a whole life that you don’t know? If, as I mentioned before, he does not introduce you to his friends and family or avoids it at all costs, he may not be single.
6. He uses you as second fiddle
Have you noticed strange behaviors? Does he avoid going to certain public places, cancel last-minute plans, and propose only doing strange things? He may be using you as the second fiddle. He may have more options you don’t know about and try hiding from you.
So always make sure you know the other person well and make yourself seen in public, or on social networks, without special commitment but without hiding it.
7. He’s emotionally unavailable
Perhaps he has gone through a very recent breakup or is still not over something that marked him. Maybe he’s afraid of commitment, abandonment, or long-distance relationships. If that’s your case, or he’s going through a difficult time on a personal level.
It is not his fault, but this does not give him the excuse to use you for his freedom. So make it clear to him what you feel and what you would like to have to avoid catching you from him and giving you face-to-face with reality when it is too late.
What to tell yourself in these cases?
Now that you know this person is not for you? No, it doesn’t make it any easier. But maybe now you have it clear. How can you make this moment of disappointment lighter? Here are some realistic affirmations to keep in mind:
- He rejects the relationship, not you. There’s nothing wrong with you, and someone else will appreciate you.
- A person who, from the beginning, does not make an effort or is not stable cannot have a healthy relationship. It is better to leave before hurting yourself more.
- You must prioritize yourself when the other person does not.
- Never stay with someone who does not know what they want.
- Don’t idealize him. Recognize his flaws and be realistic about the expectations of the relationship.
- Find out if he is cheating on you. Do you know him as well as you think you do?
- Don’t look for where there is none. Someone will know how to value you without having to complicate things for you genuinely.
Final Words: Signs there will be no third date
Maybe if it’s up to him, there will be a third date. But it’s time to ask yourself, is he worth it? Does this person inspire confidence in you? Sometimes it is necessary to analyze the situation and accept that it is better to be alone than in bad company.
The beginning of a relationship should be the most fun and exciting moment you start to feel the spark. If he makes you feel insecure or have doubts from the beginning, don’t ignore the red flags and let him go. Have you ever had a situation like this? What did you do? Let us know in the comments.