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Signs your ex is testing you: Why and what to do

You may be feeling uncomfortable, confused, or excited right now. You suspect your ex is testing you, but you’re not sure of the mixed signs your ex is giving you. And above all, you don’t know why and what to do about it. The reality may be simpler or more complex than you imagine, but nothing is as embarrassing as misinterpreting an ex’s intentions. Are there some clear signs your ex is testing you?

Remember that you already had your chance and ended up splitting. What has changed? How can you be sure? Don’t worry. We can help you clarify the situation.

6 signs your ex is testing you

Ensure your ex is fulfilling at least two or three signs before claiming he is testing you. Don’t accuse him just because you are suspicious or because there are things that look familiar to you. It might not be enough, or just innocent intentions! Remember that adjusting to “just friends” with your ex-partner takes a process.

1. He brings up memories

It’s only natural that memories from your past will come up sometime, even if you’re trying to be friends again. But suppose your ex constantly brings up memories and extraordinary romantic moments from an intimate and emotional approach. In that case, he is most likely trying to rekindle the flame of your love.

signs your ex is testing you - brings up memories

2. He wants to know about your love life

Everyone’s love life is a recurring topic with close friends. It’s normal to ask and catch up, although it can be awkward if there isn’t enough trust. Can your ex ask if you’ve met or are seeing someone? Probably not. Especially if the breakup was recent or you are getting back in touch.

Specific topics are best left untouched. If your ex insists on it or changes his behavior towards you after getting an answer, he probably wants to know if you are available to make a move. He will probably be more affectionate if you are not with anyone and jealous and distant if you already have someone special.

3. He follows you again on social media

For some reason, social media seems more intimate for most people. We don’t let everyone through and blocking or soft blocking is like we want to put distance. If he suddenly wants to follow you everywhere, he probably wants to regain all the closeness you had before and discover what has become of your life. Your ex might be checking up on you.

4. He constantly interacts with you online

The next step is to be present in your life. Interact with you, make you laugh, give his opinion, flirt, send you compliments, or things you have in common.

5. He asks you about your friends and family

Does he suddenly seem super invested in your life and everyone around you? It probably seems like he’s gathering info like he’s the FBI, trying to get closer and know more about you. Empathize with you, catch up, and make up for the lost time.

Be careful, because a friend could also do this. Remember that your ex only tests you if he fulfills more than two or three signs in this list.

signs your ex is testing you - asks about friends and family

6. He plans romantic-style dates

One of the most obvious signs is that he always proposes dates designed to create an intimate atmosphere with you or plans that he knows you especially like or that will bring up certain buried feelings.

Why is your ex testing you?

Now that it’s clear that your ex is trying to test the waters with you, it’s inevitable to ask yourself: Why? You may need to consider more than one possible answer:

1. He wants to get back together

The first thing that comes to your mind is that maybe he regrets or misses you and wants to get back together. He may not know how to proceed and may try to get involved in your life again to get closer to you, little by little.

2. He wants to know if you got over him

Maybe he wants to know if you got over him. He fears being replaced, abandoned, or easily replaced, or perhaps he is very competitive. He wants to see if you’re over the relationship, and if he suspects you are, he may want you to relapse to be on top.

3. He wants to know if you cheated

Doubts are terrible for the spirit. If you left him and he ended with the suspicion of whether you cheated on him, he may need to know to sleep peacefully. Before asking, he prefers to follow a Machiavellian plan that allows him to approach you to discover it from the inside.

4. He needs emotional support

Even though the relationship hasn’t worked out, you’ve probably been critical of each other, becoming best friends. Perhaps he feels lonely or is simply going through a rough time and feels he needs or misses your advice, support, and friendship and doesn’t quite know how to divide your company from your love.

signs your ex is testing you - needs emotional support

5. He thinks you could be something casual

He may think that even if the romantic aspects have not worked out, the physical part has nothing to do with it. You know each other. It’s simple: you know your likes and dislikes and have that trust. So he thinks, why not give it a try?

What to do when your ex is testing you?

Now that you know that your ex is testing you and suspect why you have to decide what to do. Without a doubt, you should think it over coldly and not let yourself get carried away by nostalgia. You must consider why the relationship ended, how long ago it ended, what you would gain if you gave him the opportunity and what you are sacrificing.

A straightforward phrase that can often get us out of these confusions is that an “ex is an ex for a reason.” We don’t recommend you expose yourself and leave yourself in a vulnerable position to a person who already hurt you in the past.

Is it worth it? There are many people on this planet that you will love more than your ex, even if you don’t know it yet.

Signs your ex is testing you: Final words

An ex is a person who is also going through their problems. We should understand and empathize but not justify. You are not a lifeboat, nor do you owe him anything. You are not selfish or bad for putting distance to protect yourself. You are just prioritizing yourself, and some people won’t be okay with that because they don’t know how to accept rejection, especially if you have never prioritized yourself.

Now that you know the signs that your ex is testing you and what to do in these cases, remember that you are the only one who knows what is best for you. You are the only one who knows how much you can take; if someone doesn’t understand or respect that, it’s not worth it. Has your ex tested you? How did you react? Tell us about your experience in the comments!