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Why is my ex checking up on me?

Nowadays, knowing an essential part of other people’s routines with social networks is easy. You don’t need to know too much about a person to know their likes, hobbies, where they usually spend their weekends, etc. Let alone if you are talking about your ex. If you know your ex, you learned to interpret their use of social networks. But sometimes, they go the extra mile and do things you can’t stop noticing, and you ask yourself, “why is my ex checking up on me?

Every little detail acquires a meaning. When we apply the no contact rule with our ex, we suddenly feel that something is missing, as if we are addicted. And controlling yourself starts to become too complicated.

You start to look at their social networks compulsively. That’s what happens to your ex, but why? In every situation, there is an ulterior motive, which we unveil to you in this article.

Why is my ex checking up on me? 9 common reasons

Which of these motives is closest to your ex’s personality? Identify the reason that drives them to stalk your accounts:

1. He is not over you

One of the main reasons is that he is not over you. He misses you, and he still has doubts. He is wondering if getting back is a possibility. He wants to keep hearing from you even if he cannot talk to you, so he checks your profiles to find out as much as he can about you, fearing that you will move on, but without doing anything about it.

why is my ex checking up on me - he's not over you

2. He wants you back

He may have made it clear that he’s not happy with the breakup and is giving you time, but his real intentions lead him to want you back. He doesn’t want to miss out on anything in your life. He knows the relationship is not over. He is not able to accept the breakup.

3. He doesn’t want you back but can’t help it

Sometimes we miss our exes too much. He knows it’s not a good idea to go back; breaking up was inevitable. But he can’t help but want to know how things are going, what you’re doing. After all, besides being his ex, you were probably his best friend.

4. He’s a control freak

Some guys obsess over their exes and control everything that happens in their lives even after the feelings are gone. Beware of this type of person because they may see you as a possession.

5. He is afraid that you will replace him

Maybe he doesn’t love you anymore. Maybe he’s over the relationship, and perhaps he’s okay with the breakup. But his issues lead him to want to know if you are already over him or have already found someone else. Fear of abandonment and being easily replaceable are often the reasons behind this.

6. He is playing you

He probably knows that you see when he looks at your stories, and he does it anyway because he wants you to know he’s still there. He doesn’t want you to move on because we all like to feel loved and don’t want to be forgotten.

7. He wants your attention

Classic attention-seeker move. He wants to be seen by you, and he wants to increase the chances of you talking to him. He wants you to be the one to cringe and propose to resume the relationship, regardless of how he feels about it.

why is my ex checking up on me - he wants your attention

8. He is ready to be your friend

Not everything has to be negative.

He may care about you, he cares about you, and he misses you beyond the romantic sense. He wants to be your friend but doesn’t know if you’re ready or if you’ll agree to get back in touch.

9. He feels lonely or nostalgic

For some people, the breakup is more complex than for others. If he doesn’t have many friends or tends to isolate himself, he may miss you just because he’s afraid to be alone. Or he may feel too nostalgic for when the relationship still worked.

What should you do if your ex is checking up on you?

It doesn’t matter if he keeps checking up on you if you don’t do anything about it. What do you want to do? It depends on the situation, why you left him, how you feel about it, how much time has passed, and what kind of person he is.


You can do nothing. Ignore him, let time pass and let him do what he wants with his life. Don’t let it affect you. Understand that it’s in the past, and don’t make a big deal about him looking at your social networks for a few seconds a day.

Block him

If it bothers you or you don’t want anything to do with him, block him. You don’t owe anything to anyone, much less to him. Just post whatever you want on your social networks, knowing that he won’t see it and won’t be able to respond to you.

Text him

If you miss him, if you think you can try again, if you have forgiven him, or if you think it’s time to be friends, you can send him a sincere message explaining it or start a conversation with a simple ‘hi, how are you doing?’

Make your account private

Although this measure is a bit more drastic, you can prevent anyone you don’t want from seeing your account. You shouldn’t have to change your social media usage for just one person, especially not an ex.

why is my ex checking up on me - don't post hints

Don’t post hints

First, don’t get into this teenage game of starting to post hints, songs that he knows you have in common, or criticisms that could lead to arguments, fights, etc. Be the more mature person.

Why is my ex checking up on me? Final Words

It isn’t easy to interpret the real reason your ex is checking up on you, especially if you haven’t been in contact for a long time. But remember that it is normal and natural to miss someone who was part of your life and is no longer there.

And it’s also okay to miss them and not do anything about it. Don’t let their actions influence your thinking or decisions. Follow through with your own goals, regardless of what he does. If he wasn’t the best person for you, don’t try to go back. If you want to talk to him, do it when you’re ready and not because he’s pressuring you.

If their behavior bothers you, the best thing you can do is block them or stop using social media for a while. Please don’t give them the attention they’re looking for. And finally, don’t post things that could lead to arguments or give him false hope. Just live your life and be happy.

Have you ever had an ex check on you? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments below!